Let me just say, these past two weeks have been like...like...well, do you remember that one episode of Spongebob where he is looking for one piece of hay in the HUMUNGO needle stack? Just in case you don't have a life and have never watched Spongebob:
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| Me too, Spongebob. Meeeee tooo. |
Okay, so on dadgum Monday, I had TWO FINALS. I just want to make note that Monday was the 18th of November...which means I still have a MONTH left of school, yet I am taking two finals. Granted they were both in the same miserable class, but I was just really frazzled and completely exhausted. Oh wait, vroooooom errrrrt, lets rewind really quick. My book for this dadgum class didn't come in until 5 days before the test...and I literally had 478 pages to read and lessons to review. I haven't had more than three hours of sleep a night in the past two weeks. And to answer your question, yes I am seeing rainbows and skittles falling from the sky right about now. But, I made a 90 on the written test and a one-freaking-hundred on the skills test, plus Adam took me out for Chinese afterwards, so all went well on Monday. On Tuesday, yeah, nothing happened...fast forward to Wednesday. Wednesday started off well. My editor called me, we talked like long lost soul sisters for 10 minutes and 58 seconds, no big deal. Everything was just really going well. I even had my morning cup of Starbucks, which means people actually enjoyed talking to me. I WAS EVEN BEING NICE TO RUDE CUSTOMERS! Are you seeing where I am going with this? Things. Were. Great.
Then 3 o'clock in the afternoon rolled around, which meant it was time for Poetry class. First and foremost, I just want you all to know that I have been giving this class a lot of effort and seriousness. I am not a poet...no big deal...I do other amazing things like write blogs, or draw beautiful pictures on the shower walls with soap that apparently doesn't come off - why wasn't that in the warning label? I mean they tell you not to get it in your eyes; why not say, "hey, don't get creative either" - you know, the important things in life. I really couldn't concentrate that day because they were talking about Kanye West (please take a hot second and watch this bologna, especially you, Devin http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BuBd3bDdALM) and how amazing they thought he was. #TeamTaylor. OH YEAH, ahaha, the reason they were talking about Kanye is because we were having RAP SONG day. Everyone brought in their absolute favorite rap song: all were either by Tupac, Kanye, Lil Wayne and some white chick that talked so fast and New Jersey-ish that I couldn't even focus. Each of their songs were so depressing...or violent...then, it was my turn. MUAHAHA.
My teacher/graduate student turned to me and said, "Alright, Haley. What rap song did you bring for us to listen to? You can play it then tell us two things you might would like to steal from it."
"Perfect. Okay everyone. I am about to make your day a whole lot brighter. I put a lot of thought into this song...literally, I went through all 3,000 songs on my computer. Well, one night I was singing in the shower and my roommate heard me. As soon as I got out, she quickly ran in there and screamed 'Oh my gosh - you have to use that song for your rap day in poetry!!!' After 2.7 seconds, I realized she was absolutely right. So, ladies and gentlemen, here comes the best 1 minute and 26 seconds of your life."
That's right, I once again supported my homegirl Taylor Swift. After the song ended, I cleared my throat after looking at the blank faces of each and every outspoken and skillfully poetic individual in my class. "First things first, I would love to take the same humor used in this song and use it in my writing. This day and age, I feel like young adults, such as ourselves, take our lives so seriously. I know this isn't an 'official' rap song like everyone elses, but that doesn't make her any less of a singer. It more or less makes her an experimenter, OOOH, or what I would like to call an 'imagineer'. She is taking all the things people say about her, such as her incredible height, the fact that she *DING DING DING* doesn't cuss, and the fact she was still living with her parents, although lets be real, most of us and our besties did the exact same thing, and she is simply laughing at herself about it. How many of us can say we laugh at the things people tease us about." For the .8 seconds I waited, no one raised their hands. "Exactly! Next, I really like her use of rhymes and the way she asks questions and answers them...still in rhyme."
At this moment people are still quietly flustered by my choice of song...and apparently song writer, too. This one lady finally pops up and OUT OF THE FREAKING BLUE says, "I just really don't like her." Someone please tell me what that has to do with this song from a poetic point of view. You have no idea either, right? Before I could tell her to put the shut to the up, my friend and the love of my life, Noah, who also has beautiful pink hair and comments kindly on each of my scarves, straightens up and says, "Taylor Swift is amazing. She never claimed to be an 'amazing singer' - she's just one of the few who still has a good time doing what she is doing and is actually being 100% honest in all of her music."
But homegirl had more to say: "Maybe so, but she has an absolutely annoying voice and only talks about her boyfriends. That isn't music...that is just an article in Entertainment Magazine." OH SNAP, homegirl has jokes. Before I could breathe and get my words together, Noah came to my rescue...yet again. Ahh, Noah.
"Have you heard her sing live?" At this moment I raised my hand and said, "OOH OHH OHH - I HAVE!" Noah quickly looked at me and smiled before continuing, "Exactly, sheeeee has. Taylor Swift is absolutely uh-may-zing LIVE. So what if she sings about her boyfriends? They are all individually part of her life story, and apparently millions of people are able to relate to her music, because in 2011, SHE TOOK HOME EVERY AWARD SHE WAS NOMINATED FOR AT THE AMA's. Any further points you have are invalid."
My poetry class consists of approximately 8 individuals, all of which who believe and love different things. The "F" word is used in most of their poems, and mouths, like they are simply talking about cheese. Speaking of their poems, if they aren't talking about sex, they are talking about suicide, or alcohol, or doing hardcore drugs on Wednesdays, or my personal not-favorite, when the guys give us full details about PRIVATE interactions they have with themselves. This class is why I have to go home and hide in my bed until all the horrific thoughts go away. I bet I know what you are thinking: "Well, Haley...what do you write about then?" Oh my gosh - I am so glad you asked!
I, Haley Danielle Moody, write about the stars, the clouds, or being a dadgum mermaid in the deep, blue sea. Every time I have to read my poems aloud for discussion, they all look at me like I am an innocent little child who has never had to experience a difficult moment or horrific event. So, being overly frustrated and ready to punch them all in their esophagus's, this last poem was about cancer. Maybe it's nothing perverted or sexual, but it's dark...and I was so ready to show them that I am not someone who lets the dark times hold her down.
There I was, standing in front of my teacher, listening to her tell me she doesn't "understand" my poem...how it made her confused or something. All I could think about was the fact that I sit in class all dadgum day listening to them read their poems that make absolutely no sense, yet I still find and tell them things that I freaking LIKE. For instance, that very same day, she read us a poem about a woman who CUT THE TIP OF HER FINGER OFF, but somehow, the poem ended talking about Indians, soldiers and the KKK. Yet I am the confusing nugget in the bunch - YEAH, OKAY HOMBRE!
Maybe I just don't understand some things like they do, but me? I write things that a kindergartener would understand BECAUSE I AM IN THE MINDSET OF ONE! I have considered writing children books, but that is a topic for another day. But that is why it infuriated me when she said she didn't understand! I literally said everything except the word "cancer" BECAUSE THEY TOLD ME NOT TO SPECIFICALLY SAY WHAT I AM WRITING ABOUT IN MY POEM, and she literally asked me if I was talking about a stomach virus. I just started laughing...literally, I peed on myself from laughing sooo hard. I mean...I guess cancer can give you diarrhea. That is such a hard word to spell. I had to look it up, and the first link to appear said "Don't Let Diarrhea Ruin Your Plans!" Oh, they won't...at least not my plans to be a poet, psssssssssssssssssh.
Yeah...BACK DOWN, BARBIE DOLL!
In other news, Gerard looks quite charming here.
But homegirl had more to say: "Maybe so, but she has an absolutely annoying voice and only talks about her boyfriends. That isn't music...that is just an article in Entertainment Magazine." OH SNAP, homegirl has jokes. Before I could breathe and get my words together, Noah came to my rescue...yet again. Ahh, Noah.
"Have you heard her sing live?" At this moment I raised my hand and said, "OOH OHH OHH - I HAVE!" Noah quickly looked at me and smiled before continuing, "Exactly, sheeeee has. Taylor Swift is absolutely uh-may-zing LIVE. So what if she sings about her boyfriends? They are all individually part of her life story, and apparently millions of people are able to relate to her music, because in 2011, SHE TOOK HOME EVERY AWARD SHE WAS NOMINATED FOR AT THE AMA's. Any further points you have are invalid."
*Noah drops the mic and leaves.*
Totally kidding, but I tell everyone he did!
It makes the story better.
It makes the story better.
I reached across the table and touched his newly painted fingernails and said, "You are beautiful." But even after that spectacular moment, the day didn't get any better. After my class, I asked my teacher/graduate lady-person if I could have my poem back. We have to create a portfolio as our final exam. No big deal, I just need to have all of my poems so I am able to finish the portfolio before things get real in the college world. As soon as everyone left the class, she talked with me for 15 minutes about all the flaws and errors in my little poem. Actually, you are going to need a little background information about this class before you understand why that infuriated me.My poetry class consists of approximately 8 individuals, all of which who believe and love different things. The "F" word is used in most of their poems, and mouths, like they are simply talking about cheese. Speaking of their poems, if they aren't talking about sex, they are talking about suicide, or alcohol, or doing hardcore drugs on Wednesdays, or my personal not-favorite, when the guys give us full details about PRIVATE interactions they have with themselves. This class is why I have to go home and hide in my bed until all the horrific thoughts go away. I bet I know what you are thinking: "Well, Haley...what do you write about then?" Oh my gosh - I am so glad you asked!
I, Haley Danielle Moody, write about the stars, the clouds, or being a dadgum mermaid in the deep, blue sea. Every time I have to read my poems aloud for discussion, they all look at me like I am an innocent little child who has never had to experience a difficult moment or horrific event. So, being overly frustrated and ready to punch them all in their esophagus's, this last poem was about cancer. Maybe it's nothing perverted or sexual, but it's dark...and I was so ready to show them that I am not someone who lets the dark times hold her down.
There I was, standing in front of my teacher, listening to her tell me she doesn't "understand" my poem...how it made her confused or something. All I could think about was the fact that I sit in class all dadgum day listening to them read their poems that make absolutely no sense, yet I still find and tell them things that I freaking LIKE. For instance, that very same day, she read us a poem about a woman who CUT THE TIP OF HER FINGER OFF, but somehow, the poem ended talking about Indians, soldiers and the KKK. Yet I am the confusing nugget in the bunch - YEAH, OKAY HOMBRE!
Maybe I just don't understand some things like they do, but me? I write things that a kindergartener would understand BECAUSE I AM IN THE MINDSET OF ONE! I have considered writing children books, but that is a topic for another day. But that is why it infuriated me when she said she didn't understand! I literally said everything except the word "cancer" BECAUSE THEY TOLD ME NOT TO SPECIFICALLY SAY WHAT I AM WRITING ABOUT IN MY POEM, and she literally asked me if I was talking about a stomach virus. I just started laughing...literally, I peed on myself from laughing sooo hard. I mean...I guess cancer can give you diarrhea. That is such a hard word to spell. I had to look it up, and the first link to appear said "Don't Let Diarrhea Ruin Your Plans!" Oh, they won't...at least not my plans to be a poet, psssssssssssssssssh.
After a long walk to my car and replaying "Miss Movin' On" nearly 8 times, I realized something...something incredible. Why am I upset? I should feel sorry for them, because I, Haley Danielle Moody, listened to Peter Pan and NEVER grew up.
These few individuals grew up so fast so quickly...and so interestingly...that they forgot what it's like to dance to Disney songs in the shower...as a matter of fact, they look down on Disney. When I brought in Taylor Swifts rap song, one girl looked at me and said, "Is this some kind of Hannah Montana s**t or something?" I wanted to look at her and say, "no sweetie...Hannah Montana is now a stripper. I didn't bring you stripper music to listen to." I am probably going to need anger management classes for Christmas.
With all that being said, I am so glad to finally say that my Thanksgiving break has begun!!!!!! I mean, I am spending half of it at work, but that means I will have lots of time to play the Sims! I know that seems like a rant that I just went on about my weird ole days, but I have had so much on my heart these past few weeks that it almost seems painful to breathe. Have you ever felt like that? I have to wake up every single morning and remind myself...this is my life. It is time for me to take it back! There is this one individual in my life...and this person doesn't seem to see me as something wonderful like I want them too. It's fine that they don't...but the thing is that they should. I do know one thing, this lost, crunching feeling in my chest that keeps yanking me down and keeping me up at night, and it's not heartburn - I took tums and everything - it's time for me to do what my heart is telling me to do. I always push it aside...everything about it goes to the background because I want to please the entire world! Why do I always want to do something like that? That is waaaaaaaaaaaaay to exhausting for my sleepless mind. The thing about my mind is I have a fearless one that is terminated by lack of rest and negativity. Who knows where that came from...or why it found it's why into my soul, but all I know is...no one is going to fight it for me. And no one is going to fight it for you...except me. Just let me get a few hours of rest in first. I heard this song yesterday morning...the lady sang "Happiness is something we create". You know what, the lady from Sugarland is so right. So for this Thanksgiving... not only am I going to bed super duper early, I am going to show this one person what they haven't been seeing...and what they will be missing if they keep their eyes closed. Like Mr. Alan says, I am a Bombshell...and they don't stick around waiting for something that feels like a whole lot of nothing. And all you lovely ladies and gentlemen shouldn't either - it's time we get our friends and family in check, and realize there actually is a point for us to wake up every morning. Guess what that is? YOU GOT IT - for us to SHIIIIIIIIIIIINE! We are all so amazing, and even though people don't always see that in you, don't you dare give up. Look at me, I wanted to show the world that I am amazing so I ran a dadgum 10k. Even though I almost died, I wouldn't trade that day, or the 6 weeks of recovery, for the world. We are strong, amazing people that God created for a special purpose. I haven't discovered my purpose yet either...but it's out there. That doesn't mean it's going to be easy, we all know that from the dadgum Notebook, but guess what...when we are all old and grey (gray), we will be thankful we took that risk and stood up for ourselves. Now, go be amazing and put down your electronics. Your family won't be around for forever...go hug them and eat everything in site.
With all the love in my heart,
Haley
"I'm a fire starter, make your blood run faster
I melt hearts like water
Yeah yeah oh woah yeah
I'm a fire starter, I'm a sweet disaster
I melt hearts like water
Yeah yeah oh woah yeah
Yeah
I might look all innocent
But the embers are burning inside of me
And I'm ready to take that step, can't you see, can't you see
I'm a bad-ass jumping off the moving train
I'm a Jane Bond, putting all them guys to shame
I'm a wild card, I'm about to take my aim
You better watch out, watch out."
I melt hearts like water
Yeah yeah oh woah yeah
I'm a fire starter, I'm a sweet disaster
I melt hearts like water
Yeah yeah oh woah yeah
Yeah
I might look all innocent
But the embers are burning inside of me
And I'm ready to take that step, can't you see, can't you see
I'm a bad-ass jumping off the moving train
I'm a Jane Bond, putting all them guys to shame
I'm a wild card, I'm about to take my aim
You better watch out, watch out."
Fire Starter - Demi Lovato
"Just because I am lost doesn't mean I am losing" - Coldplay
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