She Had The Most Amazing...Smile.

 Hello my shining stars, 

Have you ever been so passionate, or more than likely obsessed about something that you legit are contemplating the notion of drowning yourself in it on a daily basis? Don't be frightened quite yet...it was never anything suicidal. In ninth grade, I remember being obsessed with the band Boys Like Girls. Oh my gosh, do you remember them? I bought the t-shirts, yet never went to the concert...yeah, I was THAT girl. Every day I would find a way to push them into every conversation I had. The cheerleaders didn't like it so much.  But every single solitary day, I woke up, ate my Cinnamon Toast Crush, then listened to "The Great Escape" and "Thunder". Then one day I woke up and was over the whole shenanigan and on to the next one: Taylor Swift. I went through the exact same routine. Obsessed over it. Bought it. Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Then I sorta forgot about her a little while.

This is my other half, Haley Poole.
We used to get pretty wild on Wednesdays.
I do need every one to take a moment and look at my thighs! BOOM!
THEY. WILL. BE. BACK

As high school continued to roll on by, so did my obsessions. Lets list them, shall we? Heath Ledger, then he had to go off and die (I just want every one to know that I cried for three weeks straight. We were supposed to get married. We talked about it and everything...in my dreams.) Then I went through a punk stage. "Lil Mama and AVRIL LAVIGNE". I loooved that girl. I even secretly asked my hair dresser to put a pink streak in my hair back in the ninth grade. Let me just tell you, my father shut that down real quick.

Just hanging out with some cast members from Juno and Flavor of Love.
No big deal :)
Oh, and by the way, I am not high. I just got back from the eye doctors office.
Take a moment to imagine the looks on their faces when I walked through their front door that morning.

But when I wasn't obsessed with the boy I was dating at the time, I knew something was strange. So I became obsessed with other things. Chick flicks, Twilight (not the books, the movies...I still have a poster of Jacob on my wall. I must admit, it scares me at night when I have to pee), going to the beach, then going to the movies, music, and dreaming about SLEEPING. I HAVE A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT. Legit, mothers, daughters or brothers who were twice-removed from the family tree: I have spent the last five years of my life getting very little sleep. Sometimes because I am scared, others because I just can't, but for most of high school, it was because I wasn't allowed. Listen to me as I say this and take me and understand the words that are coming out of my index fingers: sleep is important. Don't let anyone ever take away your 1) Shine and 2) Sleep. I wish wish wish I could rewind and get 8 hours a night instead of three when I was in high school. I am super serious right now. Any time is nap time (except for when you are driving; I tried that and it wasn't so good) so catch up before it's too late and you look like me: baggy eyes at the age of twenty. Trust me, no cream can fix this, aha. I'VE TRIED THEM ALL. Anyways, back to not lecturing you. But there was one more obsession I had...and I could almost call it love.

As a little 11th grade nugget, I can honestly say that whole year was a horrific blur. Not all of it, but a good plenty of it. I had amazing friends...ones that I truly didn't deserve and I still don't! They are so great, and like I always say, they are gonna change the world some day. But for a while, I single-handedly allowed someone to push them out of my life. What did One Tree Hill teach us all to do when someone you love walks out of your life? Exactly: you fight.for.them. Actually, lets take a moment to discuss this cute little thought, shall we?

Men and Women of all ages. We are all going to fight with the ones we love...maybe every single day and maybe once in a lifetime. Either way, we all screw up. And if you're like me...you screw up multiple times an hour. What can I say, I am like a dadgum box of screws (HAHA, that's SO FUNNY!). But there is someone out there for all of us. Someone who is going to take those screws and make something beautiful out of them all...something beautiful out of us. So, I don't care if you are wrong, I don't care if she accidentally broke your FAVORITE football game or if he hit a pothole while you were putting eyeliner on in the car. GO. AFTER. THEM. Every single day is a fight in a relationship. I am not saying that I am in a perfect one, but I am in one. I fight every single day. He may not know that, but if he is reading this, he will soon find out. HEHE, surprise? :) I can't even go to SLEEP if I feel like something is wrong. I will turn on my light and text him until my melatonin kicks in and my fingers forget how to type. I am ALWAYS the person who apologizes first...and I have been all my life. I can't breathe unless I do...and I need my air. I know they say being in love means never having to say you're sorry, but I do it anyway because most of the time, I am. I know I am a struggle to be with, ahaha...I'M LIKE A FREAKING ROLLERCOASTER THAT GOES UPSIDE DOWN NUMEROUS TIMES BEFORE YOUR STOMACH GETS IT'S CRAP TOGETHER. And that feeling is worth apologizing for.

Adam has to deal with this everyday. Every. Single. Day.
Wow, well it's safe to say he deserves an "I survived" shirt every evening.
HAHA. I am so funny. Oh boy.

BUT WAIT WAIT WAIT! Don't let this boy fool you! He is a piece of work, too! You know that movie "The Blindeside"? Adam is Sandra Bullock! No, he isn't a woman...and doesn't design the inside of homes. This boy is like an onion. Every single day, you will find me gently pulling back layers trying to uncover and understand him better. LET ME JUST SAY, some of these layers are incredibly difficult to get a hold of...but I never give up. Wanna know why? Like that little Asian girl off the commercial says, a princess is always faithful and never gives up. I think she was calling me out.

But my obsession has nothing to do with this. Lets go back to 11th grade Haley. I was putting on my makeup one morning, realizing the dark circles were taking their form on my face rather early, when suddenly I was singing along to this song I had heard before...but never coming from my Sirius XM television station. I whip my chair around to find the title "Into Your Arms" by "The Maine." Like most teenagers, I began screaming at the top of my lungs and jumping around on top of everything important. My mother, who just got home from working nights, came running into my room asking what on Earth was wrong. All I could do was point at the blue screen. Frustrated, she says "Haley, you are going to have to say something human to me. I don't understand pointing unless you are doing some kind of disco thing. I mean, that's exciting and all...but you kinda missed those times." I stared at her and said, "mom! LOOK! It's the MAINE. This song. I downloaded it 6 months ago. BUT NOW IT'S FAMOUS. I KNEW OF IT BEFORE IT WAS FAMOUS! Maybe I made it famous?..." Before I could finish, she looks down at her gold watch and says, "You're going to be famous in the office if you don't leave right now, Haley. They have seen your face every single day this week and I don't think the line 'the train held me up' will work three days in a row." I grabbed my backpack and sped to school listening to the song over and over again. Listen, I had a long ride everyday. Well, with me driving it wasn't ever that long. Making it just in time for Mrs. Clark-Jones' class, I tossed my backpack in the corner of the class and ripped a hundred sheets of paper to begin writing notes to all my friends about my exciting morning. Mrs. Clark-Jones suddenly came over and whispered, "Haley, you don't have a bomb in there or anything, do you?" I almost said yes so that she would throw my Chemistry book out of the window. Too easy though.



This song was the anthem of my nearly-wrecked life. I made all my friends listen to it while we were in my car. In college, all of my friends learned to love it and even left me random voicemails of them singing that song while we were all on break. I made a blog *DING DING DING* named after that song because it has always seemed to describe my life in every situation, which is what I wanted this blog to be about - every situation. Everywhere I go, everything I went through, it was the one thing that said, "you're gonna make it" without actually saying those words. I have listened to this song backwards and forwards, literally...the video is awesome if you play it backwards, because it actually goes forward. (Mind-blown yet?) I also know that if you leave the right headphone in and take the left out, everything gets really quiet and it's just you and John O' for a solid seconds. For the longest time, I truly thought John O'Callaghan was speaking to me, talking about my eyes being sunsets and my long...ish...legs. But here I am, eating my Cinnamon Toast Cruch and wearing my "She has the most amazing..." shirt and wondering what happens in that moment when your crazy obsession turns into something of your past.

My answer: Life. Life always happens. It wakes you up from "the most amaaazing" sleep. Paints black circles around your eyes while you are actually asleep. Tells you the boy you love doesn't love you back. Cuts your clothes in your closet and makes them waaay to small for you. Tells you that you can't follow your dreams. Says that you have to grow up. Takes the people who you once found to be extraordinary and turns them into something ordinary. Allows the boy to never text you back. Gives you rain when you need a little sunshine. Yet, it shows you a sunset when you beg God for something more in your life. Opens a door when people close three hundred in your face. Finds that last birthday that your mother gave you hidden beneath the socks in your drawer. Gives you a Bible verse that makes you feel less crazy about the craziness in your life. And most importantly, it sends you friends who are going through the exact things that you are just so that you aren't alone...even if it's for just 24 hours. This world is full of blessings, heartaches, and fifteen-minute loves. I don't know about you, but through it all, I have never felt more alive. That day I heard "Into Your Arms" on the television, I drove 80 miles an hour to school without caring that a cop could pretty much arrest my happy-loving tail and more than likely lock me away in a dungeon for the rest of my life. Yet, I was alive (luckily). We sometimes forget about how fortunate we are to be alive. We take it for granted, forgetting those who actually died trying to live their lives. Yet here we are, dreaming about the places we want to discover, but wasting our happiness at the job we hate...or taking our happy-loving time with our degree...or mostly just watching life pass before our eyes. My Uncle Jim once told me "don't blink or wish your life away, Haley...because as soon as it is gone, you can never get it back and life doesn't give you do-overs."

So now it is Christmas break, instead of traveling home and remembering how easy your world used to be, remember how great it is. Never forget the tire-tracks we made in your backyard every single time we drove to your house, or the time we laid out on your pier, or the time you taught me that I should "keep my boobs high, but never let them fly", but always remember the past will always be there and the future is waiting for you to change it...or to just simply embrace it.

With all the love in my Christmas-struck heart,
Haley



"There was a new girl in town.
She had it all figured out. (Had it all figured out)
And I'll state something rash.
She had the most amazing....smile.
I bet you didn't expect that.
But she made me change my ways. (She made me change my ways)
With eyes like sunsets baby.
And legs that went on for days.

Oh she's slippin' away.
I always freeze when I'm thinking of words to say.
All the things she does.
Make it seem like love.
If it's just a game. (Just a game)
Then I like the way that we play."
Into Your Arms - The Maine