"Be Careful of the Careful Souls Who Doubt You Along the Way"

Hello lads,

So a number of weeks ago, which all seem to be running together these days, I said that I had an amazing opportunity coming up. No, I wasn't modeling for Victoria's Secret, which is kinda how it sounded from the blog post. I mean, I totally understand the confusion. What can I say? Folks want to take pictures of my bod!


Adriana Lima probably won't happy knowing that I stole her bod.
Totally kidding, that's all me, baby. I'm on that "One Almond a Day Diet."
PSSSH...In my dreams!

After my amazing Victoria's Secret photo shoot dream that I woke up from at 6:15 on a Saturday morning (Please understand my emphasis on the fact that I woke up at 6:15 on a SATURDAY), I quickly began placing my face on...one inch of makeup at a time. I was absolutely frightened...so frightened that I had to remove and replace my makeup a handful of times until finally, I got the painting on the canvas exactly right. After I finished painting my face, I wiggled my way into a pencil skirt and a modest red top; I've always heard that red draws the eyes attention, but I sure didn't want anyones eye-balls directing at my ninnies...or really anything for that matter. I just wanted to get in and get the French toast out!

Luckily, One Tree Hill was on when I began munching on my granola bar. For the first time in all of my 20 years, I felt like I couldn't eat. Everyone who knows of and sees me understands that I am a natural-born eater. What can I say? I love food and it loves me...clearly since it never seems to "unstick" from my body...ESPECIALLY AROUND MY THIGHS! Okay, I swore I was never going to tell anyone this story, but here it goes anyway. LAST DADGUM WEEK, I was sitting at work in my favorite pair of jeans. I went to jump on top of my extremely high-chair and all of a sudden I heard a "riiiiippp". My thighs had rubbed together so much in those jeans that that particular area of my jeans had thinned out so so so much until...there I was...sitting at work...with a rather large, uncomfortable and completely awkward hole in my jeans. All because my dadgum thighs. I WILL FIND A WAY TO GET THEM OFF OF ME!!! I mean, those were my absolute favorite pair of jeans...that I got on sale. It's good...I am trying not to be bitter anymore. Except for the fact that I am doing the Khloe Kardashian Squat Challenge...and it hurts to walk, sit, breath, live...you know, just everything.

Clearly she doesn't have the "thighs rubbing together while wearing your favorite jeans" problem.
She has a pretty significant gap right there in the middle. IT'S COOL! I'm not bitter...

ANYWAYS, back to the original story. There I was, watching delicious Nathan Scott:

I truly think Taylor Swift was singing about him:

"And you've got a smile that can light up this whole town."

Oh man, he's beautiful. Just beautiful. Hopefully Adam doesn't see this...

Have you ever known something was going to happen, like an event, such as having your wisdom teeth removed or going on a terrible date OR knowing that school is going to start again, but you push it in the farthest spot of your mind, pretending like it doesn't exist or won't ever happen? Well, this is what I did, until I realized it was time to leave my apartment.

I had to drive thirty or so miles outside of Northport to a place called Sokol Park. This isn't your average Dream Park or Johnson Park where everything is in your line of vision...no. This park had so many twists and turns and round-a-bouts until finally I just turned up my Taylor Swift CD and followed a random car. Luckily they were going to the same place as myself.

Ladies and possible Gentlemen who take the time out to read my rando blogs, this is the moment I have been leading up to. I, Haley Danielle Moody, am the new contributing writer at North of the Living paper. Now, just so you all know, I am not much of a newspaper writer. I don't like the news, especially not these days. Seems like people are always dying on trains and airplanes or someone has some bad news to break to me about healthcare. BLAH! But the best part about this newspaper is...I can be as silly as I want to. Unfortunately...I didn't find that out until the next article I was assigned.

The very first article, the reason why I was at a park at 7:45 on a Saturday morning, was about a dog park being dedicated to a young boy who was killed in a hunting accident. Can I please tell you why this dadgum thing was very very very awkward? People were giving speeches about this young boy. It started off as a rather emotional event. I was like the random person at the funeral that none of the family members knew, so I planned to say "I am Uncle Johns daughter" if anyone asked.

After everyone finished sharing stories and thoughts about this young boy, I had to go get a quote from this one particular man...which was the boys uncle. Ugh, I hate talking to people that I don't know...especially in a situation like that. I just felt like a burden, or a stickler, or part of the dadgum paparazzi trying to snatch the life out of this man. So, I went to talk to these little girls instead, hehe! Every little girl wants to be in the newspaper, right? After I talked to them, they ran to their mothers and said "mama! Mama! Guess what? I am going to be in the NEWSPAPER! That lady (look at me being referred to as a lady) over there just told me I was!" I always knew I was a dream maker. But those two girls made me feel like I could take on the world. So I took my happy butt over to that dadgum man and said, "Hello, my name is Haley Moody and I am a writer for North of the River Living Paper. I am writing about this incredible event and I realized I was missing something: you!" He started cheesing like a cheeseburger and I knew I had him! Hahahaha!

Here is the second most difficult part. I went home after getting some coffee from Starbucks - Salted Caramel Frap is DA BOMB, just FYI - and  turned on Grey's Anatomy while I began writing the article. I worked and worked and worked...and decided then and there that I never wanted to do this again. I am not a newspaper writer. I pretty much just write whatever is on my mind...in a blog...not really concerned about anyone ever reading it, ahaha! But this? This article? It goes to 23,000 homes every month.
I finally got it to 250 words, like one of the editors asked, and decided that it was time to close my eyes and send it in. Guys, I was sending in an article...to my editor! I felt like Carrie Bradshaw off of Sex in the City!!!

The next day, I saw that I had an email back from my editor. Let me just go find it and tell you what it said. Blah, blah, blah...HERE WE GO - "Thank you so much for sending this so promptly. This is a good start, but there is still some work needed to be done on it. I will send it through our editing team and I will keep you updated. Thanks again!" This email just...wasn't what I was wanting back. I was wanting it to spit rainbows and strawberries, OH and unicorns with Heath Ledger delicately riding atop. I simply figured that I had gotten what I wished for...no more articles for Haley. Weirdly enough, I was sad about this.

A few short weeks later, I got an email from my editor. Let me just update you all on our friendship status. I seriously think we are "besties for the resties". The other day, we emailed each other back for hours talking about candy making us big as a house and Keurig Coffee Makers...oh, and Santa! Ahaha! She's like a pin-pal that I never expect to meet but hope that someday I will. But anyways, this email said "Go to http://notrl.com/ and look at the front page. You may recognize someone."

There. It. Was.

I don't know if anyone caught on, but my freaking name is on the FRONT PAGE!
No big deal: only 23,000 people saw this.
I am pretty sure I'm famous now! People are always pointing at me like they recognize me!
Oh wait...I left my pimple medicine on my face again.

 PS - I went to that Haunted House "Main Avenue Mortuary." I literally mean it when I say I went TO it. It was like Morgan Palmer's 5th grade Halloween party all over again. I got out as soon as I got in...except I didn't even get in. Mike Myers started following me around. I am sure he just liked following my booty or something...but I hate being followed. THEN...ALL OF A DADGUM SUDDEN, SOME FREAK OF NATURE FROM INSIDE STARTED POUNDING ON THE DADGUM WALLS. I was done. I walked my happy butt right back to Anna's red bug and sat there. You can absolutely call me a chicken..because I am! "BAWK BAWK".

Anyways, that's my story to fame. Totally kidding, but hey, maybe it will help me get my feet in the door whenever my happy-loving self GRADUATES from dadgum COLLEGE. Ugh, someday. Let me tell you, I am ready. Mostly because I hate living in an apartment...and hate the one I am living in. BUT I REFUSE TO MOVE AGAIN...well, until I get a house with a garden and bay window. Yes, I have a list of demands and a Pinterest page to accompany them. ( http://www.pinterest.com/hdmoody/my-dream-home/ )

Back to the newspaper story, yet again! I actually did another story over the weekend. Let me tell you, I cried whenever my editor messaged me back again. Can I please share with you what she said back? "THIS is FABULOUS!" I sat at work and cried like a pregnant woman watching that Sarah McLachlan commercial with the sad dogs. Oh my gosh, I'm nowhere near pregnant and it makes my happy butt cry every single time. If I had money, they sure would get every single penny just because they pulled my dadgum heartstrings. I use the word dadgum alot, don't I?

Well, I won't keep you guys any longer! I tend to talk a whole lot and I can't make it stop - it's like diarrhea. Too much, huh? :) hehe

I will end on a good note, though. The trees are changing colors and the weather is changing temperatures. I believe this is the time of season where everyone is falling in love with someone...or maybe just falling in love with scarves. Either way, one day wasted is one day you'll never get back. Enjoy life and love everything that accompanies it. Call your parents. Call your sister. Call your German grandma, hehe. We all have to do everything we can to be a happier, better "us". I have been working on this for a while. The very first day was the day I took a risk and emailed the lady at North of the River Living paper. I never wanted people to read my crap. Well, I did but I didn't. Here I am doing the dang thing, though. I took a risk. Now, I want to hear about all of yours.

Stay safe - wear seat belts - don't kill the fans of the opposing team.
 


                 Love Always,
                                Haley Bug
But the future of us all rests on the shoulders of your heart
Where are we going
Oh I don't know
But still I've got to go
What will become of us
Oh I don't care
All I know is I'll go anywhere
Pioneer
Oh pioneer
So young and brave
Be careful of the careful souls who doubt you along the way
Pioneer
You orphaned child
Your mother is adventure and your father is the wild.
Pioneer - The Band Perry

Let your heart not be troubled...