Say You'll Remember Me

Hello beautiful people,

I don't know about you guys, but I woke up this morning, after yelling at my alarm clock and tripping over my dirty clothes trying to get to the bathroom, feeling inspired and surprisingly pretty happy. I feel like it has to do with the month of September. You may not know this about me, BUT I LOVE SEPTEMBER AND OCTOBER! It feels like love...even if you're...not...in...love, which as many of you may know is my current situation. Being a woman, this current status is supposed to be pretty horrific for us...and most people don't handle it well, or they decide to get into another relationship a few weeks, or even days, later. It's so crazy to watch people these days or even get on blasted Facebook. I am probably not supposed to acknowledge this, BUT EVERYONE IS GETTING FREAKING MARRIED OR HAVING A BABY OR BUYING A REALLY BEAUTIFUL DREAM HOME. And I am sitting by myself at a table fit for four, eating a salad and listening to my incredible array of songs. The best part of all.....I am happy and smiling, even though my mouth is fruit punch stained and looking a little vampire-y.

As a good many of you may know, I don't usually announce my happiness levels often due to the fact that they are typically pretty low. There have been a lot of changes in my life, which is something that many of you can potentially relate to. But I was talking to a friend last night, a friend whose father just passed away, so if you have a spare moment, please say a prayer for him:

This Millard "Milly" McWhorter, my friends.

He is one of the smartest, most incredible people I have ever met. Let me give you a general overview of our relationship: We have enraged people by hanging out due to our race,
danced ridiculously at Sub-deb, making the people even more infuriated and almost getting kicked out. We almost died on the way home from the Homecoming Dance, but he always knew how to inspire me. Reminding me that my smile is the best way to show my strength. Last night, we were chatting and I was saying all the things that I personally had to slowly learn and needed to hear when I went through the same situation. And I slowly realized...all those things were still things that I battle with today. I still ignore them, which ultimately results in me ignoring myself.
On the first day of my class, a teacher of mine said, "I hope you all know that this is a women studies class," which I didn't, "and we will be learning all about writing. Writing doesn't come easy, and writing takes a great deal of strength and bravery." I remember cheering silently in my head as she said that, because she is so right. Every moment I press the little orange "Publish" button at the top right corner of this blogger screen, my heart stops. I worry that I will offend someone or that someone will judge me...or even more so that someone will delve more into my story and find out more about what I was referring to, AKA, they will finally discover my secrets. There are things that rush through our minds that we are always told to keep to ourselves. But I finally realize that those things are silencing us. They are silencing our voices...and our feelings...and our hearts. For the first time in forever, I am so tired of my voice being silenced. Thanks to the beautiful month of September for reminding me that my voice matters, I would like to dedicate this month specifically to my voice. I am going to spend this month enjoying the beautiful weather changing AND to saying all the things on my mind that scare me and all the stories in my heart that I have locked away. There is a pretty solid chance that I will make a few people upset...but there is also a chance that I will make you proud, and who knows...maybe I will end up inspiring you to do the same. Either way, I suggest you stick around, I may end up helping you and/or making a complete fool of myself...so it's a win-win for you.

Love always,
Haley


Oh, and I don't know about you guys, but I am totally in love with this video and the beautiful Scott Eastwood. Oh, but Taylor Swift looks fabulous, too. I think we should take a moment to give it the attention it deserves....

ANNNNNND BACK TO SCOTT...

Okay..okay...I am done. 

See you all soon.

"Say you'll remember me
Standing in a nice dress, staring at the sunset, babe
Red lips and rosy cheeks
Say you'll see me again even if it's just in your wildest dreams."
Wildest Dreams - Taylor Swift