Hey there!!!
Lately, my life has been feeling like a huge hamster wheel, and I am, of course, the hamster. I have been struggling with my "future plans" more than ever, lately. "What do I want to do? Will I be successful at doing it? Will Taylor Swift still be writing and singing songs when I am older?" These are all some of the really important questions that flow through my head continuously...but the most important one, other than wondering about Taylor Swift, is, "will I be happy with the job that I choose?" As a result, I decided to go to the career center and take a, BUMP PA DA DA, career test. Let me just tell you...this was an, uh, experience in itself.
To get a good visual of this whole "career test" thing, picture a huge bologna sandwich; the actual career center itself is the two pieces of wheat bread, because wheat is my all time favorite and I was super excited about beginning this career test process, and then I was more than excited about finishing it. Do you see where I am going with this? Okay, well, the in-between part where the lady was trying to persuade me into something I wasn't all about, then gave me a sheet of paper that led me to a website that had a test that nearly took me five hours to take...yeah, that was total bologna. I bet you are getting my analogy now. Anyways, the very first meeting started out wonderfully. She treated me like I wasn't losing my mind completely. But things were starting to get weird after sitting with her for five minutes. Not weird as in she was trying to bust a move on me...weird as in she wasn't listening to the words that were running out of my mouth! Here is a little piece of the convo:
"Haley, what are you considering to do with your future."
"Actually, that's a great question. I have two "ideas"...but I just don't really know. It doesn't help that I am an indecisive Pisces..."
"Well Haley, what are your two ideas?"
"Okay - I am all about being a dentist; I love teeth. I love smiles - love it. But, I have recently found out that I loooove to write. I'm up all night just writing...writing, writing, writing. But, I don't really know if I am good at it. I don't really know if I would be good at Dentist either...actually, I am almost certain I won't get into Dental School...but I am too stubborn to quit. Wow...no wonder why everyone tells me I am stubborn."
"Well Haley, writing could really look good once you earn your biology degree. You could be hired to write for something concerning biology...like biological journals." I sat there, looking at her...basically confused at the words that just exited her mouth. Honestly, I still am. Biological journals? What!?
"Umm...I am not so sure about that. See, the problem with that is...I am not sure if I am interested enough in biology to continue in its path. I am from such a small town. I don't really know all the possibilities that the world has to offer me, and I just really want to be happy for the rest of my life, you know what I mean?"
"Well Haley, when you earn your degree in biology, you have so many areas to choose from to find a job."
"Maybe...but I really just want to know what else I could be good at...you know...other than something concerning biology..."
*At this point...I was tired of hearing two words: 1)Haley and 2) Biology.*
"You said you were thinking about Dentistry, right Haley?" I nodded as the frustration began to build up like a volcano. "Well, these biology courses can get you there. What do you want to get out of Dentistry." I start looking around...wondering if I was in the wrong room, because the lady wasn't understanding what saying. On the wall, I saw two huge, framed certificates stating that she had graduated with a biology degree. Hmm...it all started to make a little more sense. I decided to give her a piece of her own medicine, and I kinda felt like adding a little humor to her life, which is obviously filled with biology!
"There are so many things I could get out of being a Dentist. There are a ton of Dentists who take their summers off and travel down to places like Africa just so they can help fix the teeth of those who can't afford to pay for it themselves. I would love to do that...just like I love to write. Wait, did I already tell you that I was also considering writing? I don't think I did...ahaha! I must be losing my mind...BIOLOGY seems to do that to me these days, you know! ANYWAYS, I love to write, ma'am. My favorite part about writing is the emotion; I can make someone laugh, cry, cringe...anything. I can make them feel anything other than what they were feeling right before they started reading. And that, that is something that helps me sleep at night...which is not happening because of this "biology" course you are talking about."
She slowly but surely understood what I was trying so desperately to beat in her head without causing her blood to flow out of her skull, then she handed me a piece of paper that directed me to the site with the career test. Let me just tell you this...that dang test sent me on a whirl. The first two questions were, 1.) "What do you want to major in?" and 2.) "What would you like to have as a career once you get a degree?" Ummm, that was the whole point of this whole shenanigan...I had no stinking clue! So, I found an answer choice that said "Writing", clicked it, smiled really big, then continued on with the next 6 pages (it felt like 600). After I finished...I just had to go get a big bowl of ice cream with extra chocolate on top - yeah, it was that serious.
The next day, I had my final meeting with my career adviser. Let me just tell you...she probably thinks I am on some serious drugs. I walked in her office, excited about life because I was drinking a Java Chip Frappuccino (I knew that was the only way I was going to enjoy this meeting), then sat down, staring at her while every single one of my nerves tingled with excitement. She was really good at making sure everything was full of suspense. I counted - it took her like 47 seconds to flip a dang page, and what she printed out could have been a book. I pee'd my pants a little every single time she put her finger on the corner of the page...so, I was basically sitting in an ocean by the time we got to the last page, which was my "Ideal Careers". When she finally flipped to this particular page, I pretty much exploded, and basically ended up in her lap so we could both stare at all of the possibilities together. Yeah, I basically treated her like she was Santa Claus and I was the child begging for the Barbie Airplane for Christmas (okay, yes, I did do this a few years back...but Santa obviously didn't think I needed that particular toy...Thank you, Chris Kringle). Anyways, I finally got out of her lap and went back to my chair. As she printed out a detailed pack of paper to help guide me in my life, I simply sat there...just imagining what I would look like while doing some of the occupations that were listed. Here we go - ready for the fun part?
*Warning - the following items were not all included on the career test. A few of these were added because they were more exciting than most of the other crap that was provided.*
1) Elementary School Teacher
 |
| Don't worry - I am nothing like Cameron Diaz in Bad Teacher. I will take care of your precious children...maybe. Also, those are my glasses in my mouth...they were kinda caught in my shirt. |
2) Police Woman
 |
| This is my favorite!!! Who knows...I may be pulling you over in a few years...or busting your meth lab... or testing my taser out on you. POW POW POW! |
 |
| Can you imagine...all of my thoughts being written in a book for the whole world to read? Wshoooo, that's pretty dangerous... |
 |
| It's time to give Taylor Swift a run for her money...muahahaha. Actually... Taylor - if you are reading this...can we be friends? |
5)Military Soldier
 |
| How would you like it if I was the one protecting your country? 10-4, Good buddy. |
 |
| I was always told that to keep a man happy, you gotta keep him full...of Turkey. |
 |
| That's me doing makeup for people like Katy Perry, Reese Witherspoon, Rachel McAdams...you know, helping the famous people. What can I say - I am a giver. |
 |
| How would you like these hands in your oral cavity? |
 |
| At night, when you see that flashing light traveling across the sky, you never know...that could be little ole me. |
10) Magazine Editor
 |
| I don't know why homegirl off of The Devil Wears Prada was so uptight. She had an AWESOME job! Someone needs to tell her to loosen up her pantyhose. |
Who knows where I will be in 10 years...but for now, I am just gonna keep doing what I know, "just keep swimming, swimming, swimming...what do we do? We swim." Thanks, Dori. Mermaids really do live the good life; the only thing they probably worry about is which dolphin to frolic with during the day. That's easy to fix...FROLIC WITH ALL OF THEM! :)
I am sorry it has taken me over a month to finish this blog. I have been like a traveling child for the past few weeks, and when I finally settled down, it took me a week to get my internet hooked up. BUT DON'T Y'ALL WORRY YOUR PRETTY LITTLE MINDS...I am here and settled and ready to blow each of your minds. Enjoy your summers...don't get too much sun...or you may end up looking like this idiot:
 |
| The whole ride home, I kept throwing water on my chest thinking it was on fire... |
Be thankful for what you have and where you’re at. Some aren’t so fortunate. Don’t stress.
It always could be worse.
It always could be worse.
-John O'Callaghan
"Well she wants to live her life,
Then she thinks about her life.
Pulls her hair back, as she screams,
'I don't really wanna live this life'."
Then she thinks about her life.
Pulls her hair back, as she screams,
'I don't really wanna live this life'."
Meet Virginia - Train
I have some great stories to tell y'all within the next few weeks, so stay tuned in!
Love always,
Haley
It was great sweetheart! As alway's :)
ReplyDeleteI am a complete stranger to you. And this may be one of the single most bizarre things I have ever done in my life... but it's half an hour past midnight here, in Southern California where I live and I feel the most powerful urge to tell you, that I personally think you were meant to be a writer. The only question is in what form. I found myself searching for wedding venues in Dothan, Alabama, as I am originally from Enterprise. And somehow, I suppose between Google and Fate, I was directed to your blog? With spare time on my hands, obviously, I started curiously reading into your life. You have a very entertaining writing style, I was hooked, and all you were doing was describing your day to day life. Bordering feeling like a awkward stalker of a stranger, I read on further, thoroughly entertained at you outlook on life... And then I read the post that you dedicated to your mother. I must say, as I write this now, my cheeks are salty from having been heavily tear stained. It may be that we share several similiarities in life (except Im an Auburn Fan, War Eagle) but I was so moved at the way you described your mother and the way you were able to convey your experience with her death. Reading the story made me feel as though I was sitting in that room with you while every code blue was called... Being able to describe something so well that your reader feels and shares in the emotion that felt... That, Mrs. Haley is rare gift that very few people on this earth possess. You moved me to tears and made me smile and laugh out loud in length of a single paragraph. And I have said ALL OF THAT to say this... I think your calling is writing. I am just a stranger you've never met, who doesnt know a single thing about you, but if you can move ME to tears and inspire ME, it's likely there are several others in the world you can do the same for. I was just compelled to tell you that. I hope that where ever you are, you are happy and well. War Eagle & Semper Fidelis.
ReplyDelete