The Stars Smiled Down On Me

Happy New Years Eve!

Due to this being the final day of 2014, I felt the need to do a lot of reflecting. Scary, right? Looking back on a year can come with a lot of anxiety and the realization that you didn't achieve everything that you should have, or really wanted to, in 365 days. Literally, the weight-loss thing has gone down the tubes for three straight years now...okay, FINE - almost 22 years, but who is really counting? Unfortunately it has been placed back on resolution list for next year...so we will probably be discussing this again in 365 more days...GREAT! But I have this handy dandy book by Demi Lovato. It's called Staying Strong and has these cute little daily quotes and her personal responses about strength, forgiving people and multiple other things that I need to be told so that I don't stab others and/or cry myself to sleep every single night. And I feel like I actually have to listen to her even though we all know that I am not a good listener. For example, "Haley, don't touch the stove...it's hot." 22 years later, I still feel like I'm trying to prove a point and show the world that I AM STRONG...even though I no longer have senses in my fingers. "Haley, you should try to look cuter or you will never find a husband." T-shirts and sweaters, all day everyday. I mean, who really wants a ton of gorgeous men to chase after them? Because then I'd have to choose the cutest and then hurt others feelings...I just don't know how those people on the Bachelor and Bachelorette do it. "Haley, you aren't very athletic. You should probably give that dream up." Whatever to that - NOW I HAVE A COOL SCAR! But like I said, I fully listen to everything Demi says. I mean look at her:

I am pretty sure she will beat my little hiney while singing,
"I REALLY DON'T CARE!"

Well I was up late last night/this morning reflecting on the year that I had. Like guys, what the french toast have I been doing? Not even just last year, but the year before and the year before and the year before? I can't remember many great moments...like really great moments, you know? I sat on my bed with my pen and paper doing everything that I could to remember. I know, I know...I quit reflecting around three after a long cry and a whole bag of chocolate...starting off strong on the weight-loss thing, right? Haha! Have you ever looked back and felt like everything was just a blur? I mean, it didn't even feel like a happy blur. Look at me! Just looking back on it resulted in a pile of tears and empty chocolate wrappers! But Demi told me to reflect, and so I did. Before we jump into my reflections, I really really really recommend that you do the same. So grab a cute pen and a nice piece of paper and really reflect. Remember: This is all about your accomplishments. Leave that other crap out and allow it to be part of the blur.

1: Survived a few months without my car due to a deer who must've been placed on dare or something.

2. Healed like a champ after tearing my ACL - eat that, dang hills of Alabama.

3. Marked Vegas off of my bucket list!

4. Became an ambassador for the UA Career Center.

5. Was hired to be a Swim Instructor for the UA Aquatic Center.

6. I MADE SOME NEW FRIENDS!!!

7. Finally joined a club and actually attended the meetings for it. Die Deutschen sind Spaß!

8. Put myself out there and began writing for a newspaper...even though I discovered I hated it.

9. Worked, and am still working, on my relationship with God.

10. Did my very best not to give up on exercising...buuuuuuut, I can totally do better.

11. Realized that I am not a dadgum door mat, which means I worked on standing up for myself and expressing my feelings. THANK GOODNESS!

12. Tried my best to really study this year! Moved my GPA up by .017 points!

13. Worked hard trying to reach out to old friends when I needed them instead of feeling like my problems and issues were a burden. Thanks for always being there, beautiful people.

14. Practiced worrying less and trusting in God more. Which forced me to realize that I cannot control everything...ugh!

15. Actually took time off from work for myself...and not just to grace every doctor at Urgent Care with my presence and stopped-up nose.

16. Conquered my fear of flying!

17. Got a little closer in conquering my fear of needles and doctors.

17. Visited my friend Haley in Texas and fell in love with the whole dadgum state. 

18. Gained 1,000 pounds after my surgery. I mean, that is an accomplishment in itself.

19. Read a few books before watching their corresponding movies.

20. Learned a little about sewing...with the desire to learn more, thankfully.

21. Went to my very first bar and tried a Yellowhammer!

22. Practiced the whole staying strong thing...everyday.

With all that being said, I know that I have a lot that I want to make happen in the new year. I want to get out of this blur of days I have apparently been stuck in for quite sometime now. I think there is some country song about life being a blur. OH YEA, Carrie Underwood. She sings it perfectly, "I don't wanna' spend my life jaded, waiting, to wake up one day and find, that I've let all these years go by, Wasted." Although I just realized that I have been singing most of those lyrics wrong, she is so incredibly right. I am tired of saying every single year, "MAN, I want to do something great this year. I want to get out of this terrible place that I am currently in and find happiness and find everything that life and God are wanting me find and be and do and experience!" It's like something that I actually learned in Shakespeare after reading Hamlet - Actions without words makes you a coward...and cowardice and Haley don't really have a ring to it, do they? Not. A. Lick. We build up each and every year with expectations that we cannot afford and know we can't reach. Like seriously, why on God's green earth did I think that losing 50 pounds in 2014 was reachable? Oh, and travelling to Germany....ahahhahaa...I'm apparently just really adorable...and like my older brother Justin likes to say, I am a dreamer. I am not saying that our dreams can't be reached, because I know they can be, but we actually have to remember that we are all humans. Losing 50 pounds would require me eating only one almond a day for 365 days, and I love chocolate too much. We pretty much rely on one another. And traveling to Germany would require money...and a passport. I have neither. But what I do have is a hopeful soul and the realization that I can make anything come true if only I continue to dream and believe. And that is what I want you all to believe. 2014 may have kicked you where the sun doesn't prefer to shine, or it may have been an amazing year for you. Either way, that doesn't mean that it can't get better or that you should place your dreams in a jar and lock them away. Because guess what? They can come true. I mean, I dream about being a mermaid, and we all know that I will make that one happen. It is just still in the works! Don't let dark souls take any of that away from you...especially not your dreams. There is a saying that there is one thing that no one can take your education away from you. Well, in addition to that, no one can take away your dreams...not even that little bugger in the back of your mind telling you that you cannot reach them. 

Coming from the writer inside of me, it is time to write your own book. Everything is blank and waiting for you to create each page full of life and color and experiences. Write it just how you want it and just how you want to remember it...and how you want to read it back to your children and grandchildren in a couple of years. Most importantly, make it full of great memories that couldn't possibly ever turn into blurs of tears and sadness. Pen and paper, ready? Get to writing.

Goodbye 2014 and Hello 2015!

With all the love in my heart, 

Haley

"Should auld acquaintance be forgot

And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot
And auld lang syne."

"I was a little girl 

Alone in my little world 
Who dreamed of a little home for me.
I played pretend between the trees, 
And fed my houseguests bark and leaves, 
And laughed in my pretty bed of green.

I had a dream
That I could fly 
From the highest swing.
I had a dream."

Priscilla Ahn - Dream

I Need To Take Back the Light Inside You Stole

Well HELLLLOOO there,

Long time no see, right? I know, I know, this is a common conversation starter that we ALWAYS seem to have every single time I get the nerve to type one of these bad boys. It has been almost a year since I last was able to post something clever and adorable. As this year comes to a close, which by the way, I just started being able to write 2014 instead of 2013 on my papers, I have been really looking back on events and, well, crapola that has taken place! Let me just tell you, it has been an absolutely messy 2014, but with that being said, it has been pretty wonderful, too. I know how much everyone loves picture books, so how about I do something similar to catch you all up to speed? Get ready...we are about to go through a highlight reel of the last twelve months-ish. I will keep it to the good stuff. As you can tell by the first picture, it is going to be a BUMPY ride!

January 17, 2014
It's safe to say that I decided to start of the year with a bang (and a ding).
JUST FYI, the back roads of Selma are a pretty sketchy place...
I pee'd my panties twice...okay, six times because I was terrified.
That's a whole lot of underwear, just FYI.

February 15, 2014
You probably can't tell, but I am crying tears of joy over.
My Guardian Angels gave me a MacBook for my birthday!
JUST LOOK HOW BEAUTIFUL IT IS! I hope to someday be just as beautiful as it.
Little did they know that I threw my other laptop (Bertha) out the window just four days before!

February 19, 2014
"Guess whose back, back, back. Back again?
MAXI'S BACK, BACK, BACK. TELL YOUR FRIENDS!"
Eminem dedicated that song to her. Go ask him.

February 19, 2014
So, on the same dadgum day I got Maxi back,
I forgot how un-athletic I was and, well,
I tore my ACL.
But I am still smiling over there with my ice pack!
Don't ever try to be a ballerina when you're running to first base.
No matter what Nike says, just don't do it.

I think it's safe to say that I need to tell the story about the last picture. Right now you're thinking, "Haley a ballerina? Chyeah right..." Before I do that, I must say that so far I have been beyond blessed this year, well, despite the endless amounts of "boo boo's" I have caused and obtained. Literally, I have started carrying band-aids and Neosporin around with me because I already know something is going to happen once I step foot out of my apartment each and every day...and I don't even TRY to wear any shoes with laces anymore - too risky! Okay, so for the story, on our first game of our intramural softball season, we were the Underdogs by the way, and on my first hit of the dadgum season, being that I was beyond excited, I ran as fast as my thunder thighs would take me to first base. Well, the fella on the other team was completely sprawled out on the base, similar to this:

The only difference between the two was that the game took place at night.
So, it was really dark. Yeah...everything else is exactly the same.

Me, still excited about the miraculous hit I made, I decided the best way around homeboy on first was to completely jump over him, much like a ballerina. I mean, at this point there was just absolutely no way I was gonna let him get me out. Absolutely no way, so:

I looked exactly like this until suddenly I realized...
"Wow, I am really not a ballerina."

And as Mr. Searcy taught all of us in our eighth grade science class, what goes up must always come down...and boy did I ever. My body slowly began shifting back towards earth at the same time that homeboy decided it was a good time to get up. Without even realizing it, my right leg found a new home inside the hood of his sweatshirt while my left foot tried to stabilize the rest of me. Right as I hit the ground, I heard something that sounded like the noise small sticks make when you step on them in the woods, oh, and the stupid Ref screaming "OUT" - totally not cool, blue guy. But I quickly bent down like a pregnant woman whose water just broke while screaming, "WIL... SOMETHING ISN'T RIGHT!" My redneck was showing:

This had to have been the face I gave Wil...
because I know for certain it is the one he gave me back.

But being the strong, independent woman that I am, hehe, I just walked off of the field and sat my happy loving tail on the bench. One of the players girlfriends was a soon-to-be-Physical Therapist, so she started looking at my leg while basically stopping the game saying that we needed a doctor. Now, back to that whole independent thing....I don't do doctors. They always want to stab me with things or tell me, "Well ma'am, you could potentially have the incurable disease known as Systemic Lupus Erythematosus, or even Raynaud's Disease, which could potentially make your fingers and toes fall off when affected." Being the fifteen year old that I was when hearing this, I was all like, "Cool story, bro." But I also have this thing where I hate getting looked at and nothing being wrong. Yes that sounds stupid...but I don't like feeling pathetic.

Well, four and a half seconds later, a golf cart with a HUGE tub of ice, she must've thought I lost a limb and needed it to be placed and salvaged on ice, came bee-bopping down to where I was sitting. Now, let me give you a quick view of the scene. I was totally fine - cool, calm and collected. She was asking me questions about my life and school. All was well. She then began some stress test thingy on my leg...then compared it to the other leg...the one that kept its crap together. Now, I know from watching Grey's Anatomy and sitting in hospitals with my parents that you always watch the persons face who is examining you. Don't even dadgum blink. So I watched her...and yes, the game was still going - people were screaming, hitting balls into the outfield, but I heard none of it. She then glanced up at me...and I knew it all was about to get real so my heart slowly stopped. She said, "now, you see the difference in this knee and in this knee when I do this? This knee gives while this knee has resistance." I just kept nodding. Look, I know nothing about knees...I was hardly able to tell the difference...so all I could do was nod! "Being that there is no resistance in this knee means you tore your ACL." She looked at me and quickly knew that I didn't know what that fully meant...so she kept talking. "You will need to get an MRI before we can fully declare that," and this is the part she gently released on me, "but you will have to have surgery to repair it."

I, Haley Danielle Moody, am only really scared of a select few things. 1) Flying on planes, which I have gotten better at, but I don't know about the whole "flying over oceans" thing, and 2) having RANDOM PEOPLE CUT ON MY BODY WHILE I CAN'T DO ANYTHING DADGUM ABOUT IT. I have watched the movie, Awake, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rh3vl_EO-5k (please go watch this trailer, it's really quick....but I need you to understand what was going through my brain.) I actually watched it with my mother many moons ago. She was super thrilled about it, but I barely made it fifteen minutes in. I quickly marched my butchers outside, but I still heard him screaming and crying. Except one thing...he was under anesthesia and unable to tell them that he could feel everything. Well, I had nightmares about it for weeks. But thankfully, some other amazing events took place in-between this date and the day I was being dragged in to have my surgery, so my mind was able to forget for a while.

My sweet friend Haley Poole, actually I should give you a little back story on her - she's worth it. She hailed from Texas during our middle school years. I remember walking in chorus and seeing her quietly sitting in the back. Jamie Spann and I took the liberty of sitting next to her and introducing ourselves. Once she told us she came from the beautiful plains of Texas, we both looked at one another, then looked back at her before asking, "well why on earth did you come to Andalusia?" Her stepdad was transferred to the airport to basically make it a better place...at least thats what I believed happened. Unfortunately, she moved back to Texas about a year later, but we have been best friends ever since. It's that kind of relationship where we potentially go six, sometimes seven months without talking, but when we do, it's like we just chatted yesterday. After my mom passed away, she came to visit me. I was actually in an incredibly weird place at that time. All I had the energy to do was lay in my bed and occasionally get up to potty. It is safe to say, I probably didn't show her the best time.  Want to know what kind of friend she is? She sat with me the whole time, making sure I ate and peed on a regular basis, turned on movies for us to watch and just kept me company. That was probably the most perfect thing that I could've asked for. Well, she turned twenty-one eighteen days before I did...and on that same day, she found out that she was taking a trip to Las Vegas...and bringing my buttcheeks with her! I literally started screaming and jumping, which almost got me kicked out of my apartment. The next day, I told my teachers I was going to be missing a few days of class at the beginning of March due to a conference that was potentially going to help me get a job after graduation. They bought it, and a few short weeks later, I was sitting on a plane next to a guy from Boston. It was right before 6 a.m....and although I had only 3 hours of sleep, I was wide awake and terrified. Have you ever seen the movie Final Destination. Well, that particular clip with the plane crash was all that was flowing through my mind at that time. Here it is if you're feeling extra froggy, http://youtu.be/RFZg21g5_RY, but if not, here is a quick glimpse:

I was literally sitting there sweating plane-sized bullets.

But thankfully, homeboy next to me, who was over 50 years old and working this beautiful accent, started talking to me. I was probably drowning him with my sweat! He helped me get all the way to beautiful Texas, and then all I needed was the bathroom. To put it lightly, I had been working through a stomach bug all week. I don't know if it was the turbulence or the strawberry muffin I ate at the Atlanta Airport, but what when down was coming back up...and I just couldn't throw up on him, you know? Of course everyone took their precious sweet time getting off the plane, like they made these life changing memories on a two hour flight or something. When it came my time, I ran as fast as I could...even with a torn ACL. Wshooo, four nonstop bathroom visits later, everything got better:

STOMP, STOMP - WE'VE ARRIVED...
And then went straight to find some Dramamine.
She didn't want to smell like throw-up when we reached Vegas.

The next few days were some of the best I've ever had in my entire life. Ready for our photoshoot? Oh, and these are in no particular order. Blogspot isn't all about that "in the order in which they occurred" life. Forgive the scatteredness:

Made it to Vegas and found out how fabulously famous I am.

The beautiful water fountains at the Bellagio.
I actually couldn't look away from these,
forcing my eyeballs to water,
which made me look incredibly emotional about the whole thing.
I mean, maybe I was...

This is the ceiling in Caesar's Palace.
I took pictures so I could do the same to the ceilings in my future house.
Okay, just my sewing room and my HUGE closet.

This was part of our dinner at Nobu.
Okay, okay. I will be honest...
I pretty much ate all of that.

CELINE DION IN CONCERT.
Of course she sang "My Heart Will Go On".
I cried my eyeballs out like an emotional wreck.

The Little White Chapel in Vegas, clearly!
Don't worry, guys!
I didn't get hitched...well...

This adorable fake horse was at the Chapel.
We talked about running away together...
But he couldn't really run..
Or move.

Now, I don't let people see me dance,
But one of my favorite songs from Something Borrowed started playing.
I had to have a dance moment for the fact that I. Am. Rachel...dadgum it!

I don't know if you watch the show Pawn Stars,
but this is where it all takes place!

The beautiful Viva Las Vegas sign!
Pssh, and the lady said my camera wasn't good enough to pick up the florescent lights.
HA, I showed her!

I discovered that I don't know how to play anything in a casino!
So I sat and took pictures of everyone..
until the lady yelled at me for having my camera out.
Plus that Asian guy was being creepy..

See what I mean!?!
Who, as a stranger, looks directly into someones phone camera?
He was asking for trouble.

Mrs. Angie and I had a blast with all of the statues.
And boy were there tons...

Vegas - 1. Haley P. - 0

We decided it was best to leave this statue alone.

We got all dressed up for a night out in Vegas.
Poor H.P.
She can't take me anywhere.

Eating at this wonderful place called Ollie's.
They fed me "ollie" could eat.
Haha, get it? "Ollie".

We were picked up in Vegas by a limo!
Thats when we knew we were fabulous...
Okay, we already "knew".
But it was definitely confirmed at that moment.

This was inside the Bellagio!
Like, HOW DO YOU EVEN DO THAT?
"Oh, I'm gonna go build a beautiful rainforest...inside a building."

My flight home.
Texas sure is beautiful,
day and night.

A few weeks after, things started getting really real. I just want to say one thing, thank GOODNESS my sister came with me. Hospitals ask you a number of terrible questions before you have surgery. I'm sure they have to, but I literally was.not.prepared. It was just a few days before the surgery, and I had to make my final visit with the doctor before my surgery occurred. As I sat down at this tiny desk to fill out MORE paperwork, the lady behind the desk said to me, "I assume you don't have a will. Incase the situation arises, to whom would you like to leave your belongings." I looked at her and said, "I'm sorry?" She could see how uncomfortable I was, so she tried her best to re-state the question...as terribly as she could. "Incase there are difficulties during the surgery, who would you like to take ownership of your possessions?" I just paused...like...what am I supposed to say to that? I quickly looked at Alysson and said, "Alysson, if I try to write you out a will tonight, would you mind dispersing everything to it's rightful owner? Just make sure Adam doesn't get Maggie..." She gave me a go to you-know-where look, and I wrote her name down on the paper. Soon after, I met with my anesthesiologist, who also asked me a number of questions. Like if I was allergic to anything, and then a number of huge words that I had no idea how to break down. Once again, I looked to my sister. Finally, and this is where I had a panic attack...actually, a full body attack. Alysson had to pick me up off of the floor. He looked at me and said, "well, there are many ways that you could survive from this", like surviving was just a small chance. I sat there and didn't say a word. Luckily we were done after meeting him. I walked to the car and threw up - don't worry, it was my sisters prius. It is practically made to be thrown up in. After catching my breath, I looked at my sister and said, "Alysson. What is happening here. I don't think they have the right file. They are treating me like I am undergoing a triple bypass. 'You have a chance to survive this.' I should've said to him, 'great, hombre, I DIDN'T REALIZE THAT WAS A CONCERN!' I do not want to do this anymore. I will endure it all. I don't care about the falling down, and I was never good at running or sports anyways. Take me off the list, I am not doing this." We drove down the street as I stared out the window, and naturally, we pulled in Ulta. She bought me all kinds of beauty products to wear after I make it through the surgery. She really does know how to brighten up a situation, doesn't she?

And finally the dreaded day arrived. I had my alarm set for 4:45, in the DADGUM morning, so I could get up and scrub my leg with this disinfectant was before hitting the hospital at 6. Once we got to the hospital, panic became an ongoing feeling. Actually, typing this out is making me just as nervous as I was that day. After signing in and stating that I wanted my own room after surgery, then there was the wait. OH, I FORGOT TO TELL YOU WHAT HAPPENED THE NIGHT BEFORE. Well, our team had another softball game, and I figured, "why not spend potentially my last night alive watching what took me down in the first place?" Well, another guy on my team has had multiple  ACL surgeries. Three to be exact. I don't know how he did that. He must've had it done in an alleyway or something, but of course, he decided to come and talk to me about his experience. "It's not that bad! The only thing is that I was actually able to feel everything." See, I knew that movie Awake was FREAKING ACCURATE! He walked away and I started crying in front of God, Adam, Wil Hart and Rob Maddox. I hate hate HATE crying in front of people, especially men! But they were so incredibly nice...and actually made it all better. But still, the thought of being awake never left my mind. Back to what I was saying earlier. After waiting in the hospital, they finally took me back to get ready for surgery. I had to take off everything and put on this gown-like-thing with my booty hanging out the back. So much for wearing my lucky underwear. Soon after, a lady came in and noted the leg that was to be fixed:

Nothing would've been worse than them cutting open the wrong knee.
Well, I guess them completely cutting it off would potentially be worse...

She was so incredibly nice...nice enough that I finally had the courage to ask the one question that was burning a hole in my mind. "Ma'am, what are the chances of me waking up during this party? This guy said he did while he had his surgeries, and I watched this movie called Awake, and I actually don't know if you've seen that, but I don't think I will be able to survive that. And if I don't survive, my dog may be homeless." She started laughing before saying, "that is actually a very popular rumor. But actually, your anesthesiologist will be in the room with you, regulating everything. So the likelihood of that happening is slim to none. Plus, I will be in the room with you. I like you already, and I don't tend to like a lot of people. But I won't let anything happen to you, okay?" As soon as she said that, I sat back on the bed and started breathing as regularly as calmly as I could, which still sounded like I was having an asthma attack. Soon after, my sister came in my room after working the night shift, and following behind her was the nurses who were going to take me into surgery. After acknowledging that they each knew one another from work, they finally realized I was what they came after. "Okay, we are ready to get this party started. Give your mom and sister a big hug." I don't know if it's the dramatic female inside of me or the fact that this was literally happening, but I began crying while I hugged my Aunt Patty and then my sister, who I whispered to saying, "I don't want to go. Get me out of here." She quickly said, "It's all going to be okay. We will see you very shortly."

I was definitely being the Katherine Heigl in this photo.
Dear Hollywood, I am currently available for any leading rolls involving kissing Gerard Butler.

I quietly sobbed all the way to this room I had to wait in until the operating room became available. In that time, another lady joined me. We were both hooked up to everything, except she was knocked out. I laid there, wide eyed as a deer in headlights, wondering if I was supposed to already be asleep, too. Approximately four minutes passed by before I just had to ask. The lady watching over both of us looked at me crazy before saying, "some people do, some don't, but it isn't necessary." "Great," I thought, because I was far away from sleeping. About thirty long minutes later, they wheeled me into the operating room. I think 9 or 10 people were standing around me. It felt like I was the one in a coffin looking up at those who came to see me off at my funeral. One really cute guy started talking to me; I think my heavy breathing was a sign that he needed to calm me down before I passed out without any meds. "So where are you from, Haley?" I could feel the drugs taking over my body, slowing me down, but I wanted to prove them wrong. "I come from Andalusia, AL. It's a really small town that pretty much only has a Super Walmart. That was an exciting day when we got that Walmart." He laughed and said to the others that were entering the room, "Guys! This is Haley Moody. She's from Andalusia, which has a Super Walmart!" Soon after that, my eyeballs rolled to the back of my head....at least that is what it felt like. And shortly after, I was in another room full of people who had just came out of surgery, and one of which who was screaming at the top of his lungs. He's the little bugger that woke me up. And for some odd reason, I was trying to get out of the bed. I remember this nurse, who didn't have a face I don't think, hollering at me, "Haley! You need to sit still or you are going to fall out of that bed." I am pretty sure I laughed at her and said, "yesssum." Apparently they didn't have a room for me at the time, so I just had to hang out in this room, which felt a lot like one of those medical centers during the war; I am specifically picturing the movie Pearl Harbor:

I'm the second guy who looks like a mummy.
They did everything they could to keep me contained.

When they finally found me a room, they began rolling me to it, which consisted of passing the waiting room where my Aunt Patty was sitting. Somehow I managed to completely sit up and wave vigorously at my aunt. The nurses weren't happy with that shenanigan either. I am pretty sure I slept most of the afternoon, except those few moments when I woke up and sang "Let it Go" "Do You Wanna Build a Snowman?" and "I See the Light". Yeah, my Aunt Patty won't let me forget that one, either. 

But here are some photos that my wonderful friends and family took of me. Also, thank you for everyone who came and sat with me. It meant the whole wide world to me...and more. Oh, and I am really sorry about throwing up. I don't do well with anesthesia. Again, a scrambled mess, but enjoy:

The day I got out of the hospital.
Adam clearly decided I could walk out on my own without crutches.
I think he believed in me a little too much.

I know, I know. How gross, right?
But seriously, LOOK. HOW. HUGE. MY. FOOT. WAS.
A plane could've landed on that thing! 

The doctor told me to rest...
And boy did I ever.

I wasn't able to physically get in the shower...
But I needed too.
That's what sisters are for, right?

About the time I started singing.
"Let it go. Let it go!"

High and fabulous.

I just realized,
I am not a very cute hospital patient.

My first day at therapy.
I only cried twice!

One week after surgery, I was headed up to Nashville with my friend, Stephanie Marvin. "Stay in bed," they said. "Don't drive all that way for a concert," they said. Who did they think they were talking to? The thought of not going to see Demi Lovato in concert never even ran through my mind. I. Was. Going. Gerard Butler kneeling down on my doorstep wasn't stopping me either. So Stephanie and I painted our fingernails all sorts of neon colors, threw some cute outfits on and headed to Nashville. AND I HAD THE BEST TIME OF MY LIFE. I mean, a woman spilt soda down my back, and I almost fell down the stairs because I wasn't that far advanced with my crutches, but when Demi started talking and singing, I swear she was singing at me. Stephanie doesn't know this, but one time, I even started crying. It was like all the perfect things in the world wrapped up in one. I will shut my mouth and allow you to see for yourself:

Started the day off strong...
and SUPER swollen!!!

We partied all the way to Nashville.
And no, I wasn't on any drugs!
Just 2.5 hours of sleep!

LOOK HOW ADORABLE THIS COFFEE IS!
I almost didn't want to drink it...
But I did. :)

Met up with my long lost lover, Michael!
He showed us around Nashville...thank goodness.
We were so lost.

WE MADE IT!
We were surrounded by young kids,
but we were totally louder than them.

And clearly more adorable than they were.

Oh. My. Stars.
I may dye my hair pink, too.
What do y'all think?

This is where Demi told me she was always going to be there for me, no matter what.
She only told me...
"Haley Moody. You are amazing. And you are a Warrior."
And I cried.

When we finally landed in Nashville.
She was thrilled that we didn't wreck!

I was simply thrilled that I could stand without falling over.
And that I wore a long dress.
IT WAS FREEZING!

I'm sorry about all of my screaming.
BUT I COULDN'T BELIEVE SHE SANG THIS SONG.
I scream like s frightened girl...always.

Just cried. And Cried.
She sang this one to my soul.
Right into my soul.

As you can see, 2014 came with a great deal of setbacks, but with those setbacks, I discovered that I am a warrior....thanks, Demi. We all are warriors. We all have so many setbacks and challenges that keeps us from doing what we truly want...keeps us from believing in who we truly are. School is a setback. Professors and other students trying to tell us that we can't succeed. Jobs can be a setback. Co-workers trying to put so much on you, then taking the credit when it all gets done. Dressing rooms can be a setback. Enough said there, right? I am here to say that they are wrong. Everyone who tries to put a label on you, well, they are all wrong, too. You can do anything that you want, as long as you truly and deeply want it. I've had a bunch of people critiquing my writing lately. And when I say lately, I mean this entire year. All their hard notes and rude remarks forced me to believe that I shouldn't be trying to get a degree in English, that I shouldn't even consider writing as a field to work in, and forced me to push writing to the back most area of my mind. But who are they to tell me that? Who are they to tell me that I should stop doing what I love? Here I am, finishing a blog that I started in March. And here I am, smiling from the inside like a fat kid who loves cake. 

Believe in yourself, because even when you don't, I do.

Love always,

Haley

"'Cuz now I'm a warrior
Now I got thicker skin
I'm a warrior
I'm stronger than I've ever been
And my armor, is made of steel, you can't get in
I'm a warrior
And you can never hurt me...

Again."

Warrior - Demi Lovato