This Is A Part Of Me That You're Never Gonna Ever Take Away From Me - NO!

Hey there, young-ins!

A few weeks ago, I came back to Tuscaloosa for an incredibly special event: my wisdom teeth removal. Honestly, I have been worried about that particular date in my calendar since I planned to have them removed, which was the day after my birthday. Some present, right? Well, my sister traveled up to ole T-Town so she could go with me when I had them removed and take care of me afterwards - isn't she a sweetie? Don't let her fool you, though...she sent me on a whirlwind the whole time. Truthfully, I don't quite think she knew what she was getting herself into.

On the morning of the big show, my sister woke me up at the butt-crack of dawn.

"Let's go, Haley. You have to be at the doctors office at 7:45...its already 6:40."

After a few minutes, I began to remember where I was. Then glancing at the clock, I put my blanket over my face before saying, "Alysson...what the messticles. I am not putting on any makeup. My hair is already braided out of my face. I laid my t-shirt, sweats, tennis shoes, AND my lucky undies out last night. Oh...AND I'M NOT EATING BREAKFAST! Why in the world are you waking me up an HOUR early!?"
(As you can probably tell, I absolutely love the mornings...just simply love them.)

"Oh, well, I have to eat breakfast, so I figured you wanted to sit downstairs with me and watch me while I did that. Plus...it's gonna take you the rest of the hour to swallow that small pill for your face, so I figured we better get a move on."

"HA - actually, the jokes on you because I wasn't going to swallow that pill, anyways. My happy tail has been chewing them every. single. time. Oh, and why in the world would I want to WATCH you eat breakfast when I can't eat anything...that's just plain mean."

"Haley...chewing your pills? That is really disgusting; you really..."

Before she could finish her sentence, my phone lit up, distracting us both from our conversation. This is just a reminder...it was around 6:50 in the morning, which means everyone in the world is asleep except for me, my sister, my aunt and uncle who were both downstairs, and the hooligan who was calling me. I quickly looked down at my phone and the biggest smile came across my face.




By the way...I love taking pictures of people asleep.
It's an added bonus if you're asleep huging my body pillow, Ethan. :)

 
Answering the phone, I screamed, "HEY ADAM!" I quickly remembered our conversation from the night before. "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh crap, I am so sorry! I just remembered that you told me last night how you wanted to leave me a voicemail for me to listen to later. CRAP - I ruined it...I am..."
"Haley...ahaha! It's okay, I'd much rather talk to you, anyways."

"Are you sure? I can just hang..."

"Haley...how are you feeling?"

"Hmmm...I am good, well, I am super duper nervous. I've never done anything like this before. Adam, what if I am like that guy off of the movie Awake? They didn't give him enough sleepy meds, so he felt and heard everything around him..."

"Hahaha, Haley...it's all going to be okay, Besides, you're not Hayden Christensen, so you don't have to worry about being that guy off of that movie, right? That actually would be weird for the both of us if you were. But I have had two surgeries, and look at me- I came out just fine. Anyways, I don't want to keep you...I just wanted to hear your voice before you went under. Stay relaxed and calm, and just pretend I am right there with you. I am thinking about you...forever and always."

"Awwww, Adam! You are going to make me cry over here...and I can't drink any fluids, so I need to retain all the water I can! You really are the sweetest. Thank you for calling me, though - you always know how to lift my spirits. But, I will talk to you later on. OH YEAH! Have a wonderful day."

After we hung up, I rolled out of bed, 007 style, then put on all my clothes that I had placed on the wooden chair before I had fallen asleep. I quickly did a little body shake to get rid of the nerves, then walked downstairs to chew the only thing I could before going to the oral surgeon - a pill that would reduce the swelling in my cheeks after the surgery was over. My sister, Aunt Patty, and Uncle Jeff were all downstairs and smiling at me when I made it to the last step.

Aunt Patty: "Are you ready, Haley? You look great! I mean it...you really look great!"

Me: "Yes ma'am...I am ready as I'll ever be. Ahaha, and thank you. I worked really hard on my outfit and makeup this morning."

Aunt Patty: "Okay, well, y'all be safe. I will be here when you two get back."

Alysson and I walked to her Prius, and I got in and began pressing my face and hands against the glass as if I was going to be locked in there forever. I began looking around, as if this were the very last time I would ever be able to see the world again. My stomach was filled with butterflies and knots, and my nerves were shaking as if I had just drank a frappiccino from Starbucks. To prevent Alysson from seeing me nervous, I rolled down the window and allowed the air to flow across my wisdom teeth one last time - here is a good mental image for you. :)


It was all fun and games until Alysson yanked me back inside the car...
I guess she figured out that I was planning on escaping...out of a moving car's window.




You all should definitely know now that I like each and every one of y'all very much.
Me putting a picture up without makeup on for the WHOLE world to see doesn't happen much...or ever.
This is me in the Pruis, by the way...just riding to my doom.
You would think they would give meds for that, too.



Riding down the road, I looked out the window, admiring the sun, flowers, trees, clouds, and even the not so green grass on the right side of the road.



"So, Alysson...are they gonna put a needle inside of me?"

"Probably so. They have to put you to sleep to do this procedure."

"What!? I really don't like you calling this a "procedure". Can we just call it a shindig...or anything else, please..? Actually, I just really can't do this, Alysson!" At this point, I began unbuckling my seatbelt and rolling down the passenger window. "Can we just go drink some coffee and energy drinks. I am pretty sure that would give the same effect as the crazy-meds they are going to give me to put me to sleep; the only difference being that THERE AREN'T ANY NEEDLES INVOLVED!"

Alysson looked at me and quickly said, "Haley...it is all going to be fine. Try to take a deep breath." I fakely smiled back at her until I suddenly realized exactly where we were. She put the car in park and said, "ready?"

"Ummm...not really...can we drive around or something, pretty pleeease with sugar on top?"

"Actually, that really wasn't meant to be a question. It's already 7:46...so you're late. What I was really saying was...time to get out, because I am about to lock the car door."

"Okay, okay! Don't get your panties in a bundle over there! Wait, did you get my text message from last night?"

"Yes, Haley. You are like a musician; giving me a list of demands before a big event. You are absolutely hilarious, did you know that?"

"Consider it more as "requests", and you are welcome. Give me a brief overview of what I said, because I know exactly how you are, missy..."

"Uh, alrighty. It is going to be really brief because you are L.A.T.E." She pulled her phone out of her purse and began reading my text message. "I have a few requests for tomorrow. Please don't leave me. Take pictures...but make me look cute - I really just don't want to miss out on these memories. Keep Shelby updated - she's like a worried momma...Oh, do the same for Adam - he is like Shelby, minus the momma part. I hope you were just kidding yesterday about making me walk up the stairs to this room by myself...I mean, I accept the challenge, but stay behind me because I really won't need to lose anymore blood. I love you, Alaboo. Thanks for being here to hold my hand."

She smiled at me and I finally got the courage to respond to her first question, "ready..."

We walked inside the doors of the oral surgeons office, and I wondered up to the front desk to fill out the piece of paper stating that I was here and ready for action. My hand was shaking like I was coming down from an AMP high...so my handwriting was messier than usual, which means something to those of you who have seen my John Hancock. I turned around and informed Alysson that she had to sign at the bottom letting them know that she was going to be my caregiver.

"Ha! Alysson, looks like you can't do anything bad to me now...they already know that you are the one who is responsible for me. Actually...let me see that pen again. I am going to put your dang cellphone number, license plate number, social security number, AND your address down, too. You really can't leave me like you said you were going to do, because they have all of your information! The PoPo's gonna find you...." I started to turn to the nurse and let her know how my sister was planning on leaving me here with them, but before I could realize what was happening, Alysson yanked both the piece of paper and pen out of my hands, gave it to the receptionist, then linked her arm with mine and said, "time to go sit down, crazy woman." She was actually patting me on my head, too. I am almost certain that the ladies behind the glass window thought I had rabies or something.

She rolled her eyes at me and we both went to sit down on the only sofa in the room, which was like sitting on a bench from the stone ages - cold and hard. As I looked around, I realized how gloomy it was in the waiting room, which consisted of my sister, me, and another girl who was sitting with her mom (you may want to remember her...she is quite important.). I started telling Alysson where all my things should go if I didn't return. "Oh, and Justin should get that massive picture of me that was in the living room...I know how much he hates it, so I think it would be perfect for him." Before I could figure out who to give my most prized possesion to, which was my Maxi, a nurse quickly came out of the glass door and said "Haley Moody". I looked at Alysson and said, "OH NOW THEY'RE FAST! Geeze...I didn't find a home for Maxi, or Danielle, or my Sims Games...oh my gosh, my Sims games! Whats gonna happen to them, Alysson?" She gave me a stern look then said, "bye Haley!" I slowly stood up and began tip-toeing to the nurse, almost as if I was taking my very last walk on earth. She held open the door for me like we were about to go on our very first date, which in a way, we were. Before walking completely through the door, I looked back at my sister and screamed, "I'll see you on the other side," then blew her a kiss. I gave her a quick, confident smile, because I didn't really want her knowing how scared I was. I felt her smiling (most likely in embarrassment) as the door completely closed back. This was the point of no return.

After walking through two more doors, the lady sat me down in Exam Room 2, and began asking me all sorts of questions. By the way, for a good visual, this lady looked and acted very simlar to Mrs. Sasser, which is a teacher from my high school for those who didn't know, and could probably care less.

"Have you ever been put to sleep before?"

"No ma'am...this would be my first time."

"We have us a first-timer!" She began frantically grabbing sharp objects out of a box, so my eyes quickly darted to the ceiling. "So, what are you doing up here this summer?"

"Yeaaaaaaaah. Umm...I work for the Action Card Office at the university. I am still considering on the whole 'summer class' thing...so who really knows."

She began by checking my blood pressure then asked me if I was allergic to anything, and before I could fully say "no", she had already pulled out a huge needle and started going for my right arm.

"Umm...ma'am? Do you mind if I make a quick suggestion before you shove that right on in my skin."

"Sure thing."

"They have a hard time finding a vein in that arm, and I am pretty scared right now, so it will probably be even harder to find. Is it okay if you try my left arm instead?"

"Yeah, of course. I'm glad you said something. I really wouldn't want to keep sticking you."

"Yeah...the feeling is mutual..."

I watched her re-tied the rubbery thing around my left arm to help the vein pop, then I looked away before she began the stabbing. Holding my breath, I started picturing myself at the beach, frolicing in the ocean. Suddenly, a jellyfish stung my left arm and my mind quickly came back to reality. Once she finished, all I could do was smile because I kept thinking, "that was the worst of it, right? Heck yeah! I JUST SURVIVED AN I.V. I should probably get a t-shirt for that." She quickly wrote something down on the a piece of paper, then hooked me up to some fluids that reminded me of the taste of my breathing treatment I used to take when I had brochitis, and then she said, "Okay. I will be right back and then we can get started." She walked out of the room and those final words kept running through my head..."then we can get started." I kinda mumbled under my breath, "What? But I am still awake!?" After a long pause, I began laughing so loudly that I startled a few nurses who were walking by. I quickly started praying, but with my eyes open because I was concerned that they were gonna think I was asleep and then begin cutting my mouth open. Right after I said, "amen", the official doctor walked in and asked me how I was doing. By that point, I was super tired of all the small talk. He looked at the piece of paper that the other lady had wrote on, then turned and looked at me before saying, "Alright, Miss Haley. I will be right back, then we can get started." After he exited the room, all the smiles had been completely wiped from my face. It was then that I realized that I was officially going to be awake during this "procedure", so I began mentally preparing myself for what was about to happen to me. "Great! Adam jinxed me...I really am like Hayden Christensen... Okay, Haley, you are a strong, independent woman. STRONG AND INDEPENDENT. He was just a man...on a movie. Of course he was going to act like he was in pain - every movie needs a dramatic effect. Besides, women are stronger than man, anyways!" Wshoo. Before I knew it, both the doctor and the Mrs. Sasser look-alike were walking in the door, laughing at something they were just previously discussing. The doctor looked at me and said, "ready?" I gave him an awkward smile, then said, "uhh...yes sir." A third lady joined our little gathering and watched as the Mrs. Sasser look-alike shot some different drugs in my I.V. that made my chest feel like it was caving in. They were all talking and laughing about something, and I just sat there, looking at the ceiling, trying my hardest to fill my lungs with air; I was almost certain that my ribs were breaking. I closed my eyes and sang a song, right after I did a fist-pump in the air while reminding myself, "you are a strong, independent woman....a strong independent woman...".

Most people usually tell me that they can't remember anything after that point. Me? I remember it all.

During my little "knocked out phase" while they were removing my teeth, everything I saw reminded me of a kaleidoscope from the 70s. The weird part about this was not the fact that I was stuck in a kaleidoscope, but the fact that I could hear everything the doctor and the two nurses were talking about, but I just didn't too much care. They were talking about divorces, mostly within celebrities. I don't know about all of y'all, but I have no idea what celebrity divores has to do with my mouth? I mean, I do have this one particular tooth that looks like J-Lo's butt...bahaha, just kidding. Anyways, as soon as he finished playing around with my teeth, I vaguely remember a lady helping me up out of the operating chair, and walking me over to a recliner. As soon as I sat down, this tall, dark-headed fella came over and started jamming gauze in the back of my mouth. I slowly stummered, "thanksfhdka youdfjks," and smiled while he walked away. Drifting in and out, I could hear another girl, but for some reason, she was bawling her eyes out. Glancing over, I found out it was the same girl who was sitting in the waiting room with her mother earlier (See, I told you she was important). The same tall, dark fella was drying her tears while saying, "it's okay. Sometimes the anestheisa makes people cry. You are going to be fine." I remember smiling while thinking, "Psshhh. I bet he thinks I am freaking wonder woman over here...NOTHING CAN BRING ME DOWN!" As soon as those words travelled through my head, a nasty taste began to form in the back of my mouth. I held on tight to the two arms of the chair and kept telling myself, "there is no way that I am about to throw up in this office, absolutely no way." Every single time a nurse walked by my chair, I would reach out to grab them, but they were always farther away than what I expected - atleast four or five had walked by, and none stopped to aknowledge me. Finally, Mr. Tall and Dark stopped and said, "how are you feeling." I tried to mumble that I felt like I was going to puke, but it came out as, "Isfa Thiskfahsk Thakfasdjl;a Imk Goinjasa Beajshae Sicdjaskldfk..." He cocked his head to the side and said, "I'm sorry, what?" I quickly lifted my hand infront of my mouth to make a vomiting gesture, and he quickly got the jist. He quickly said, "don't do that," then power walked it to the back room with all of the supplies and came back holding a plastic bag and a cold, wet rag. After giving me the bag at the perfect time, he leaned me forward and placed the rag on my neck while watching me suffer. "I bet you feel better now, don't you? It must've been all that gauze I shoved in the back of your mouth." I gave him a big ole smile and mumbled, "uh huh, thank you for that..." I laid back and closed my eyes.

***I really don't know how long I was asleep...but just know that it was wonderful.***

"Miss Haley, do you think you're ready to go home."

After opening my eyes and remembering my whereabouts, I mumbled, " Youuu betcha. Let's do this."

He wheeled me out to Alyssons car, and I suddenly found myself waving uncontrolably at her as if I hadn't seen her since 2004. She waved back and simply watched and laughed as I basically threw myself into the car. Right as Mr. Tall and Dark closed the door, I rolled down the window and said, "thank yooooou", one last time. Suddenly, I looked down and noticed that as I was thanking him, a mixture of blood and saliva had poured out my mouth and landed on my shirt. Him waving back with a horrid look on his face makes a lot more sense now. Alysson started driving off, and before I could figure out the whole gravity situation, she suddenly screamed, "OH SHOOOOT", then slammed on the brakes. At that moment, I suddenly started to cry. I could feel it --- I was about to die. Thankfully, I was only halfway wrong. My sister must've been distracted by my beauty, or by my blood, because she nearly pulled out infront of the on-coming traffic. Lucky for me, she has good brakes. Don't worry, everyone. I made it back to Aunt Patty's with out a scratch; I simply lost a few years off of my life.

As soon as we arrived back at the Benton Household, I began crawling up the stairs to my new bedroom as my sister stood behind and laughed - I told her I accepted the challenge. Once I finally made it to the bed, I instantly fell asleep. Eight hours later, after waking up and taking meds twice, I woke up to another face standing in my room...my brother. I mumbled, "what are you...OH MY GOSH! I CAN FEEL MY FACE, ALYSSON!" I quickly began grabbing my entire jaw, which was a no-no. She reached for my hands as if I were a little toddler who was trying to touch the hot eye on the stove, then pushed them away from my face. Tylers face suddenly dropped, almost like the guy from the Oral Surgeons office who excorted me to the car. Rememebering why his face looked like that, I quickly looked down and realized that unwanted things were dripping from my mouth, yet again. Alysson quickly got me some tea bags and shoved them into my mouth. Let me just tell you...these were supposed to stay in my mouth for fifteen minutes. I couldn't keep them in for seven - THEY MADE MY GUMS FEEL LIKE THEY WERE ON FIRE!


I produced my own tea in my mouth that day...It needed a little more sugar and a little less blood.

 The next day, my sister had to leave because she had a meeting with some ole nursing lady. I totally could've died, but it's whatever. Well, after laying in my bed for two days straight, I quickly realized that I wanted a shower: that was my second bad idea. I nearly fainted twice while I was in there, but boy was it worth it. After a few minutes of being under the water, I suddenly found myself laying in the tub, covered with bubbles. I thought to myself, "I definitely don't remember taking a bubble bath???" Instead of getting up like a normal person, I turned on some music and continued scrubbing my hair and body while singing my Katy Perry songs at the top of my lungs. I am almost certain that my Aunt Patty and Uncle Jeff thought I was dying - thank goodness I locked the door or they would've gotten themselves and unwanted show. ;)

Katy Perry + Liquid Loritab = A complete mess.
I was so excited that day about how huge my muscles were...like I said, a complete mess.

One dry socket and four doctor visits later, I was laying on the chair in the oral surgeons office asking him to check the top two spots where I had my teeth removed because they had been causing me problems, too. After sticking his index finger in my mouth then quickly removing it, he began taking his gloves off while looking at me with a straight face before saying, "OH YEAH - I forgot to tell you that I removed some of your jaw bone when I took out your top two teeth..." I did my very best to get off the chair and tell him thank you as quickly as possible, because I was about to pee my panties from holding in so much laughter. "OH, I forgot?..." What if I needed those pieces of jaw later on in life? I totally think I should've had to sign a piece of paper stating, "YES YOU MAY REMOVE SOME JAW IF NECESSARY." Speaking of...does that count as donating bone marrow?



This was the first of many dental visits...
What happened during this particular visit was something similar to the actual wisdom teeth removal.
The only difference being that I was awake during this one.

 One month later, I am still feeling a little sore in my right, upper corner, but I refuse to go back to the Oral Surgeon. It's nothing I can't handle, and I am just really stubborn... :) I mean, look at that picture above (the one with me in the bathroom)!!! Does it look like I can't handle a little pain? Exactly - just look at those guns! :)


I hope everyone is having an incredible summer so far! Make the best of it - it passes by ever so quickly! Oh yeah, and dont forget the three cardinal rules: 1) Wear sunscreen. 2)Keep your Ta-Tas and Pikachu covered. 3) EAT LOADS OF ICE CREAM - I hear it cures cancer or something...okay, maybe I made that up.

See you on the flip-side!

Love always,
Haley

"Now look at me, I'm sparkling.

A firework, a dancing flame.

You won't ever put me out again,

I'm glowing, oh woah oh."
Part of Me - Katy Perry

To Be Or Not To Be - That Really Is The Question

Hey there!!!

Lately, my life has been feeling like a huge hamster wheel, and I am, of course, the hamster. I have been struggling with my "future plans" more than ever, lately. "What do I want to do? Will I be successful at doing it? Will Taylor Swift still be writing and singing songs when I am older?" These are all some of the really important questions that flow through my head continuously...but the most important one, other than wondering about Taylor Swift, is, "will I be happy with the job that I choose?" As a result, I decided to go to the career center and take a, BUMP PA DA DA, career test. Let me just tell you...this was an, uh, experience in itself.

To get a good visual of this whole "career test" thing, picture a huge bologna sandwich; the actual career center itself is the two pieces of wheat bread, because wheat is my all time favorite and I was super excited about beginning this career test process, and then I was more than excited about finishing it. Do you see where I am going with this? Okay, well, the in-between part where the lady was trying to persuade me into something I wasn't all about, then gave me a sheet of paper that led me to a website that had a test that nearly took me five hours to take...yeah, that was total bologna. I bet you are getting my analogy now. Anyways, the very first meeting started out wonderfully. She treated me like I wasn't losing my mind completely. But things were starting to get weird after sitting with her for five minutes. Not weird as in she was trying to bust a move on me...weird as in she wasn't listening to the words that were running out of my mouth! Here is a little piece of the convo:

"Haley, what are you considering to do with your future."

"Actually, that's a great question. I have two "ideas"...but I just don't really know. It doesn't help that I am an indecisive Pisces..."

"Well Haley, what are your two ideas?"

"Okay - I am all about being a dentist; I love teeth. I love smiles - love it. But, I have recently found out that I loooove to write. I'm up all night just writing...writing, writing, writing. But, I don't really know if I am good at it. I don't really know if I would be good at Dentist either...actually, I am almost certain I won't get into Dental School...but I am too stubborn to quit. Wow...no wonder why everyone tells me I am stubborn."

"Well Haley, writing could really look good once you earn your biology degree. You could be hired to write for something concerning biology...like biological journals." I sat there, looking at her...basically confused at the words that just exited her mouth. Honestly, I still am. Biological journals? What!?

"Umm...I am not so sure about that. See, the problem with that is...I am not sure if I am interested enough in biology to continue in its path. I am from such a small town. I don't really know all the possibilities that the world has to offer me, and I just really want to be happy for the rest of my life, you know what I mean?"

"Well Haley, when you earn your degree in biology, you have so many areas to choose from to find a job."

"Maybe...but I really just want to know what else I could be good at...you know...other than something concerning biology..."

*At this point...I was tired of hearing two words: 1)Haley and 2) Biology.*

"You said you were thinking about Dentistry, right Haley?" I nodded as the frustration began to build up like a volcano. "Well, these biology courses can get you there. What do you want to get out of Dentistry." I start looking around...wondering if I was in the wrong room, because the lady wasn't understanding what saying. On the wall, I saw two huge, framed certificates stating that she had graduated with a biology degree. Hmm...it all started to make a little more sense. I decided to give her a piece of her own medicine, and I kinda felt like adding a little humor to her life, which is obviously filled with biology!

"There are so many things I could get out of being a Dentist. There are a ton of Dentists who take their summers off and travel down to places like Africa just so they can help fix the teeth of those who can't afford to pay for it themselves. I would love to do that...just like I love to write. Wait, did I already tell you that I was also considering writing? I don't think I did...ahaha! I must be losing my mind...BIOLOGY seems to do that to me these days, you know! ANYWAYS, I love to write, ma'am. My favorite part about writing is the emotion; I can make someone laugh, cry, cringe...anything. I can make them feel anything other than what they were feeling right before they started reading. And that, that is something that helps me sleep at night...which is not happening because of this "biology" course you are talking about."

She slowly but surely understood what I was trying so desperately to beat in her head without causing her blood to flow out of her skull, then she handed me a piece of paper that directed me to the site with the career test. Let me just tell you this...that dang test sent me on a whirl. The first two questions were, 1.) "What do you want to major in?" and 2.) "What would you like to have as a career once you get a degree?" Ummm, that was the whole point of this whole shenanigan...I had no stinking clue! So, I found an answer choice that said "Writing", clicked it, smiled really big, then continued on with the next 6 pages (it felt like 600). After I finished...I just had to go get a big bowl of ice cream with extra chocolate on top - yeah, it was that serious.

The next day, I had my final meeting with my career adviser. Let me just tell you...she probably thinks I am on some serious drugs. I walked in her office, excited about life because I was drinking a Java Chip Frappuccino (I knew that was the only way I was going to enjoy this meeting), then sat down, staring at her while every single one of my nerves tingled with excitement. She was really good at making sure everything was full of suspense. I counted - it took her like 47 seconds to flip a dang page, and what she printed out could have been a book. I pee'd my pants a little every single time she put her finger on the corner of the page...so, I was basically sitting in an ocean by the time we got to the last page, which was my "Ideal Careers". When she finally flipped to this particular page, I pretty much exploded, and basically ended up in her lap so we could both stare at all of the possibilities together. Yeah, I basically treated her like she was Santa Claus and I was the child begging for the Barbie Airplane for Christmas (okay, yes, I did do this a few years back...but Santa obviously didn't think I needed that particular toy...Thank you, Chris Kringle). Anyways, I finally got out of her lap and went back to my chair. As she printed out a detailed pack of paper to help guide me in my life, I simply sat there...just imagining what I would look like while doing some of the occupations that were listed. Here we go - ready for the fun part?

*Warning - the following items were not all included on the career test. A few of these were added because they were more exciting than most of the other crap that was provided.*


1) Elementary School Teacher


Don't worry - I am nothing like Cameron Diaz in Bad Teacher. I will take care of your precious children...maybe.
Also, those are my glasses in my mouth...they were kinda caught in my shirt.


2) Police Woman

This is my favorite!!! Who knows...I may be pulling you over in a few years...or busting your meth lab...
or testing my taser out on you. POW POW POW!

3)Writer

Can you imagine...all of my thoughts being written in a book for the whole world to read?
Wshoooo, that's pretty dangerous...

4)Musician
 

It's time to give Taylor Swift a run for her money...muahahaha.
Actually...
Taylor - if you are reading this...can we be friends?

5)Military Soldier

How would you like it if I was the one protecting your country?
10-4, Good buddy.

6)Chef


I was always told that to keep a man happy, you gotta keep him full...of Turkey.

7)Makeup Artist



That's me doing makeup for people like Katy Perry, Reese Witherspoon, Rachel McAdams...you know, helping the famous people. What can I say - I am a giver.

 8) Dentist

How would you like these hands in your oral cavity?

 9)Stewardess

At night, when you see that flashing light traveling across the sky, you never know...that could be little ole me.

10) Magazine Editor

I don't know why homegirl off of The Devil Wears Prada was so uptight. She had an AWESOME job!
Someone needs to tell her to loosen up her pantyhose.

 

Who knows where I will be in 10 years...but for now, I am just gonna keep doing what I know, "just keep swimming, swimming, swimming...what do we do? We swim." Thanks, Dori. Mermaids really do live the good life; the only thing they probably worry about is which dolphin to frolic with during the day. That's easy to fix...FROLIC WITH ALL OF THEM! :)

I am sorry it has taken me over a month to finish this blog. I have been like a traveling child for the past few weeks, and when I finally settled down, it took me a week to get my internet hooked up. BUT DON'T Y'ALL WORRY YOUR PRETTY LITTLE MINDS...I am here and settled and ready to blow each of your minds. Enjoy your summers...don't get too much sun...or you may end up looking like this idiot:

The whole ride home, I kept throwing water on my chest thinking it was on fire...

Be thankful for what you have and where you’re at. Some aren’t so fortunate. Don’t stress.
It always could be worse.

-John O'Callaghan

"Well she wants to live her life,
Then she thinks about her life.
Pulls her hair back, as she screams,
'I don't really wanna live this life'."

Meet Virginia - Train

I have some great stories to tell y'all within the next few weeks, so stay tuned in!

Love always,

Haley

I'm Everything I Am Because You Loved Me

They were always incredibly busy like this at the hospital :)

Well hello there!

Today is a very special day. 56 years ago, my mother was born; some of you may be surprised by this number. For many years, she has tried to make everyone believe that she was in her thirties...(sorry mom - the secret is officially out). My mother went from being the little pain in my grandma's neck to my little guardian angel in the sky - in between those two time periods are a ton of embarrassing memories that I want to share with you all. On the day of her funeral, I wrote out a few of those memories to share with everyone who came to say goodbye to her. Once I walked in the funeral home and saw her name written on the wall, I looked at my aunt and said, "I can't do this anymore" and handed her my folded up letter. Since today is her birthday, I wanted to share with everyone the words on that folded up piece of paper...plus a few other things. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! :)

Ever since I was a little girl, I have always been told that I look exactly like my mother; I was also always told by my brothers and sister that I was adopted, so as you can probably guess, it was a very confusing childhood for me. Being stubborn (like my mother), I refused to believe that I looked so similar to her. It wasn't until a few weeks ago that I truly realized how similar we looked. I was home in my moms room digging through some of her things when I uncovered a picture of her from when she was a young, innocent little thing. Dusting off the picture frame, I carefully looked at the young lady in the photo. She had platinum blonde hair, as if she had just returned from spring break, and a smile that nearly covered her whole face. Some of her characteristics looked oh so familiar to me, but I couldn't quite place them with another familiar face. As I laid the photo down on the dresser, I looked in the mirror hanging right above it, and suddenly it all hit me like a pile of bricks: it was me. My hands started feeling my mouth and cheeks and all of the similarities. My fingers ran across the mole located on my chin, which was exactly the same place my mother had one. Suddenly, my eyes went straight to my hands - we both had the most awkward, grandpa-looking fingers. The tears began streaming down my face like rain on a window seal. Trying to ease my mind, I walked away from the box of memories for a few minutes, only to hear television come to life in the living room. The show sounded all too familiar, which forced me to run in hopes that the person who used to watch it was sitting there, too.

Can you tell who is who? Choose wisely...

All I could hear was the monotone narrator on Dr. G: Medical Examiner discuss how a young girl had blood covering her brain because of her abusive husband. My mind went back to a few years before; it was a Saturday morning, and I walked out of my room only to see my mother sitting on the couch wearing one of my t-shirts that she had destroyed with bleach, absolutely no makeup, and a random pair of mismatched socks. Removing the rest of the eye crust from my eyes, I noticed she was sitting behind her new laptop, but watching Dr. G perform an autopsy on a young girl. As you can probably guess, I wasn't really feeling breakfast anymore. It was quite obvious that she wasn't planning on doing much but play farmville and watch the rest of that show until Judge Judy came on - this was a normal Saturday for her. When most people think of my mom, they can only picture her in a raspberry uniform stabbing patients with a needle. My mother also had a side to her that many people don’t know about, other than sitting on the couch in her underwear; she was someone who enjoyed being outside visiting with Mother Nature. We have two ponds that dwell beside our house: one had fish, and the other was overflowing with moccasins. She pushed farmville away and decided to go outside and take a look in the pond, because she loved it when the moccasins would rise to the surface and slither on to the plants. I watched her quickly run inside, grab her camera, and take over a hundred pictures of the snake. After she finally finished risking her life for a simple picture, she handed me her camera and walked over to tend to the many rose bushes we had surrounding our house. “When the rose bushes bloom, I feel like Don is among us,” she said with a slight frown as she walked away from the pond. “I can feel his warmth and tenderness radiate from every bush that he touched. I know he still holds on to these beautiful flowers, because God knows they wouldn‘t be as pretty if it were left up to me.”



I don't know about y'all...but this is what I would call "too close for comfort."

 Trailing back from my memory, I decided to take a trip outside for some fresh air. As I walked outside, I saw my mothers blue float drifting around in the pool. My mind went back to the day before I left for college. My mom and I were out swimming - she was laying on that float, and I was treading water trying to work my muscles. She had her ipod playing, and all I could hear was her singing along to every tune. Suddenly, she quit singing and asked me if I was excited to leave. After looking at her, I said, "well, yes and no. I haven't been looking forward to leaving all of this...especially not you, but I know I need to get started on my life. I really want to get us a beach house someday, so I need to make that dough. I am looking forward to coming home and visiting you all the time!" She looked at me stunned, removed the sunglasses from her eyes and said, "Wait - you are going to come and visit me?" Confused by her question, I grabbed on to the side of the pool and said, "Well of course I am, mama? Did you think I was just gonna leave and never come back? Heck no!" She was really quiet, then she looked back at me with tears in her eyes and said, "I am going to miss the heck out of you." Those ten words made my moving out process the hardest thing I had ever done. Th started singing the next song on her ipod, which was "Never Say Never" by the Fray. "Don't let me down, don't let me down..." I didn't have the heart to tell her that she was singing it wrong - I liked her version better anyways. The next day, I finished packing up my car, went and hugged my best friend and her family goodbye, then my sister, mother and I all headed to the great unknown, a.k.a Tuscaloosa. Three and a half hours later, we all walked into my new home: room 216 of Rose Towers. We each looked at each other, wondering how quickly we could turn around. Realizing that wasn't possible, we all started unloading things from my huge cart. While my sister supervised my new roommate, Anna, and Tyler put the DVD shelf together, my mama and I went to my new room and started putting things in their new, small homes. As I looked around, my eyes landed on Megan's dresser where a card was sitting up-right. It read, "You're leaving us? FINE! GO AHEAD AND LEAVE! SEE IF WE CARE!" I could feel my heart pounding harder and my eyes start to swell; I quickly looked at my mother, which was the worst mistake ever - seeing her face made it a whole lot worse. "Mom...can we please go back? I'll do anything, please! I will work at McDonald's for the rest of my life! I...I just want to stay right next to you." She looked at me with the sweetest smile and said, "Haley, you have to be up here. It's going to be great. I will come and visit - it will be just like the good ole times!" I cried even harder because I knew exactly how busy her work schedule was. After my mom and Alysson went back to their hotel room, I wrote them both a card to give them before they left the next morning. Once my mother got home that evening, she quickly sat down and read her card then called me. "Haley," she said as her voice cracked. I hadn't heard her cry since the day my father passed away. "Haley, thank you for the card. Gosh, I miss you so much!" I ran to my bed and started crying. All I could think about was her sitting in that big ole house with those five wild yorkies...alone. I talked to her until her voice stopped cracking. If I would've known what the next few weeks had in store for me...I would have stayed on that phone forever.

 Monday, September 12, 2011 started off as just another day. I woke up that morning, forcing my body out of the bed and tried to remember why on earth I signed up for an 8 am class. After I finally left my Intro to Listening class, I called my mom to see how she slept the night before - I couldn't help it...I am a mamas girl. As I walked my tired body all the way to Tutwiler for "math", I talked to her about how I was planning on being a good student this week and finishing all of my math hours early. "Awww, Haley! I am so proud of you! I really wish you could rub off on my other child up there! I bet his happy tail is still asleep!" Laughing at her, I reminded her how it was only nine in the morning. She cut me off to tell me all of the things that she had already done, and all the things she wanted to do today since she had the whole day off. Her voice sounded so worn out, so I finished our conversation by telling her to take it easy today and call me after she woke up from her nap. "I love you, Haley." After I heard the dial tone, I said, "I love you two, mama! You and grandma really aren't good at the whole 'lets say goodbye before hanging up' thing." I hung my phone up and walked inside to the dreadful math lab. As the day continued to pass, things kept hitting me left and right until I couldn't seem to stand anymore. On facebook, I started chatting with my friend on her wall and we were discussing the details about my horrid day. A few hours later, my phone lit up indicating that I had a missed call and a voicemail, both from my mother. "Hey Haley. Gimme a call - I saw on facebook where you've had the most horrible day. I just want to know whats going on. Talk to you later!" As soon as the message ended, I called her back, remembering how she was most likely going to be heading to bed soon - she woke up every morning at 4:45...yes , that's A.M. She answered with a very soft voice, asking me if I was okay. "Hey mama. I am fine. I just had a rough day - plus, I have been having this awful pain in my back. Ugh, I can't take a long, hot shower. The water here turns cold before I can get to the chorus of any Taylor Swift song." She laughed at me, then said, "I was wondering how the water was treating you up there. You go from taking thirty-minute showers to three minute showers. Aha - what I would do to see that." I laughed, then I suddenly remembered how I needed to remind her about the football ticket my roommates parents had for her for that next weekend. The excitement rushed through her voice as she searched for her work schedule scattered about on the couch she was sitting in. "Oh, Haley...I have to work that weekend. I am so sorry." "Maybe next time, mama," is what I responded, hoping that she wasn't too bummed out. "Yes - next time for sure. I guess I am going to lay down since I have work in the morning. Haley, will you please call me in the morning on your way to Biology? I would really like to hear if you are feeling any better." Hearing those words made my heart melt. "Of course, mama! I can't wait! I love you so much. I will talk to you in the morning, okay? Get some rest - I love and miss you!" "I love and miss you too, Haley." An hour later, I decided I needed to take a shower. Mid-rinse, my roommate Anna busted in to tell me that I needed to call my brother. "What? Anna - why? I have soap in my eyeballs." "Haley, just please get out now and call him." I quickly washed my sweet-pea scrub off and reached for my towel, realizing my phone had multiple missed calls from my brother. As I tried calling him back, all that I could get was his voicemail. I began to worry: "Did Tyler get in a wreck? Oh my gosh...he is wanting to use my car now, isn't he?" Finally, Tyler called me back and told me to come to his apartment quickly. "What? Tyler...I just got out of the shower. Can you please tell me whats wrong? Are you hurt?" "Haley, please just come - I am not hurt." I couldn't tell if I was happy or upset about knowing he was okay - that just means there is something else lingering out there, just waiting for me to figure it out. I looked into my roommates room to find the other three girls sitting on the two beds; their faces were an off-white color. Without having the time to ask, I ran to my room and put on my sweats, an Alabama t-shirt, and grabbed a random hair brush. As I sat on the ground trying to shove my foot into my tennis shoes, my whole body started to go numb. In a panic, I grabbed my purse and glasses and ran for the door. Before I could shut it, Maggie's head peeped out as she said, "Haley - I love you. You know that we are always here for you, right?" I nodded and ran down the stairs...thinking I would be back in thirty minutes, maximum.

Once I finally made it to the Retreat, I slowly got out of my car just as Tyler was locking his apartment door. My two legs somehow found the strength to walk over to him and say, "what's wrong?" He looked at me and suddenly my whole body started to shake. "Mom had a minor heart attack. It's fine, but we need to go to Dothan." As the tears started rushing down my face, I lost control over every single muscle in my body. Tyler forcefully helped me in the passenger seat before he rushed to get gas and start the almost four hour trip to Dothan, Alabama. Halfway there, my brother recieved a phone call from my other brother, Justin. Like always, they were exchanging information about my mother and thought I was too young to hear. As Tyler hung up the phone, I saw him pray...and drive, all at the same time. He then looked at me and said, "Haley, sometimes you are going to be told things you don't want to hear. Right now, you really just need to pray."

As we drove down the bare roads, I saw a building to our left with words that read "Flowers Hospital". After turning in and finding a parking spot, my brother and I quickly got out of my car, running inside to try and find Alysson. She was standing with a lady that worked with my mother and some man who was wearing a blue button down shirt and khaki pants. He directed us to follow him, then quickly turned around and asked, "Do any of y'all have any questions?" I couldn't find the words to say...but I can promise you I had at least 15,000 things I needed to ask him. He placed us in a room known as the chapel and waved goodbye as he shut the door. I looked around and thought to myself, "Do you think they would notice if I walked back there to find my mother? I am sure she is scared - she is alone with a ton of doctors." Everyone was sitting in the room quiet, as if we were all meeting each other for the first time. Trying to lighten the mood, I looked at my sister and said, "well, I guess we aren't finding our husbands tonight, Alysson." She smiled, then looked down at the hospital phone that was plugged into wall as it began to ring. After chatting with the character on the other end, she hung up and told us all that they were going to begin surgery and that it was going to last four or more hours. I looked around and wondered why no one was asking any questions, then quickly asked, "four hours? Did they tell you what on Earth they are going to do? Oh, let me guess...you all know the big secret and are keeping it from me?" They all looked at each other, then pretended as if they didn't hear me. "That's fine, you guys...I can promise that I am not sharing my blanket with any of y'all." Hours passed and finally the creepy phone rang again. The same person was informing us that the doctor was finished with surgery and that he would be there to talk to us very soon. Once my Aunt Patty walked in, so did the doctor. He was a very old man who looked like he hadn't had a happy meal in over 100 years. He slowly sat down, crossed his legs, then gave us her complete diagnosis in full detail. "Your mother had an aortic aneurysm. We replaced the vein that split open with a pig valve...." I can't remember anything else he said after those two lines, because I grew queezy towards the beginning of his detailed speech. His voice sounded optimistic, as if everything was peaches and cornbread. As he left, I called my best friend for a little moral support, and to let her know that I thought mama was going to be okay. The hallway was an open area that looked out over plants and the parking lot. As I talked to her on the phone, I started counting all of the empty parking spots, remembering how exciting it was to find one of those close to my dorm room. Suddenly, a voice came over the intercom saying, "Code blue. Code blue." I looked around, not able to focus on what my friend was saying, and saw my mothers co-workers begin to cry hysterically. One of the ladies rushed down to me, her face redder than my great aunts cherry pie on Thanksgiving. Before she could make it to me, I looked her in the eyes and cried, "That's my mother isn't it?" She nodded as she began to hug me, and I lost complete grip on my sisters phone as it rushed to the ground. Five minutes later, we got the all clear stating that she was back and breathing. I put my sisters cracked phone back together, then walked down to where my family was waiting. The chapel was full of my mothers friends who were all crying, making me feel incredibly nervous. Turning away from the door, I prepared myself to run, and suddenly saw one of my best friends, Shelby Strong, getting out of her sisters vehicle. Basically breaking the elevator, I quickly ran down to give her a huge hug. As we walked back up to the chapel, the same doctor was sitting in there, along with a blonde-headed guy who really needed a hair cut. He was telling the rest of my family how they were unsure about how well her brain was functioning considering what it had gone through so far, but allowed us to go back and see her. After my brothers and aunt went, my sister and I walked through the double doors with our arms linked together for support. Behind the curtains, my mother laid there connected to at least 20 machines. I couldn't even recognize her beautiful face...or our identical cheeks. I grabbed her hand and said, "I need you to fight, mom! I need you in my life! I love you so much, mama! Remember - I believe in you! The nurse behind the desk directed us out of the ICU so the rest of our large group could have a turn seeing her. Once I exited the large doors, I saw my two other best friends, Devin Williamson and Callie-Marie Crigger, along with each of their families. After giving them all massive hugs, they said that they wanted to go back and see my mother. Once they returned, my mother coded two more times. While standing there, Mrs. Brenda and Mrs. Angelia Fink, along with many others, came up to say goodbye, because they all still had work in the morning. "Haley, we love you all so very much. You better let your mother know that she better get to feeling better soon. We are still taking our trip to the mountains in a few weeks." As they walked to the elevators, I watched their sweet faces disappear behind the doors. Justin had finally made it just as the same guy with long blonde hair directed all of the family members into chapel. "You guys have a decision to make. If Mrs. Moody codes again, you have two options: to let her go or to keep trying to bring her back." I couldn't believe the words coming out of his crazy mouth. As he walked out the door, I sat there trying to fully grasp what he was saying. I looked at all of my family as they sat in silence, then I decided it was my time to speak my thoughts. "I personally think we should keep trying. I am not ready to give up on her." My mothers life depended on the next few words that came out of their mouths. Thankfully, they all agreed, and we told Mr. Long Blonde Hair what we decided on. Suddenly, the same voice came over the intercom. "Code blue. Code blue." My sister looked at me...her eyes started watering. I grabbed her hand for the next twenty minutes until the unhappy doctor came and asked the family to come in the chapel. As he shut the door, the only thing my eyes could focus on was Mr. Williamsons' face on the other side of the window. I couldn't help but to smile - he always fills my heart with joy, like a father would. That smile was quickly wiped from my face when the doctor said in a very dry voice, " I am sorry to inform you all, but Angela Moody has passed away." My ears shut off and my heart shattered after hearing those words. I closed my eyes and pretended I was anywhere but in that terrible room. Once I opened them, I saw the rest of my small family crying. Trying my hardest to comfort each of them, I decided it was my turn to be the strong one. In the midst of our tears, I suddenly heard a chipper lady come in the room saying, "Hey y'all!" I looked at this lady as if she were two scoops of crazy. She was the nurse that was going to lead us back to our mother to say our last goodbye. It took everything I had not to tell this lady what was up. All of those thoughts went away once she opened the curtain to uncover my mother, who was unattached to her twenty machines. Grabbing onto her lifeless hand, I told her how much I loved her until the happy nurse came back to get only me, because the rest of my family had already finished saying their final words. I couldn't find the perfect words to leave her with. As I passed the nurses station, I heard the lyrics , "Lord, make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother. She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors." After hearing those words, I turned around and blew one last kiss to the most amazing woman in my life, then forced myself to walk out the double doors without letting her see me cry.

Are you all ready for the big surprise? I know, I know! Me too, but I need to tell you all a few background things before I tell you the exciting part. Since today is my mothers birthday, I have a really special, and pretty scary present in her honor. I got this idea a few days ago; I was looking at my hands and noticed how blue they were. My mind trailed back to my junior year in high school when my mom and I took a trip down to Pensacola to the Sacred Heart hospital to get my hands checked because a few teachers were scared of how they kept changing colors. After waiting in the doctors office forever, he finally sent us to the lab, making me think that I only had to "pee in a cup"...boy, I was wrong. Once the nurse indicated that she was ready, she quickly sat me down in a huge chair, literally strapped my happy tail in, then pulled out eight tubes and a huge needle. My hands tightened, and like a four year old, I looked for my mother to find comfort. My eyes finally found her in the corner of the room laughing harder than I had ever seen. Suddenly, the nurse man-handled my arm and started sucking the life out of me...one tube at a time. Once she was finished, she unstrapped me and I slowly stumbled down the four flights of stairs and into the 98 degree weather, hyperventilating. My mother trailed behind me because she couldn't walk straight and laugh at the same time. Once we got in the car, I looked at my mother with a face greener than the giant guy on the side of the can of peas and said, "I am pretty sure I just gave up enough of my blood to where it could count as a donation, don't you think?" She smiled at me. Then my mind suddenly went to September 13, sitting in the waiting room at Flowers Hospital in Dothan, Alabama. That unhappy doctor came in the chapel numerous times to update us all on how my mother was doing. Every single time he entered the door, he would say over and over again how much blood they were having to replace because of the surgeries. The other day I was walking across the quad and a guy came up and asked me to donate blood. Trying to keep my balance after imagining myself give blood, I looked at him and said, "yeah - of course I will donate my blood," then completely walked around the indicated area, pretending to be on my phone. Suddenly, it hit me - all that blood that kept my mom alive, that all came from people who faced their fears to save lives. I know may not be able to repay those people for their generous donation, but in my mothers honor, I will face my fear, and donate in hopes that my blood will save someone truly precious on this Earth. Wshooo....I love you, mother dearest.

My mother at her finest

"Don't forget how lucky we are to be alive. Take advantage of every day. There might not be a tomorrow." 

-John O'Callaghan

Here's to finals week. Good luck everyone - I have faith in you all! GO BIG OR GO HOME!

Love Always,

Haley

"You were always there for me,
The tender wind that carried me.
A light in the dark shining your love into my life.
You've been my inspiration.
Through the lies you were the truth.
My world is a better place because of you."

Because You Loved Me - Celine Dion

In Sickness And In Health

Hello there,


A few weekends ago, I traveled along the back roads down to good ole Andalusia to attend a friends wedding. While sitting at her beautiful ceremony, I realized that I needed to start planning my wedding like...yesterday. At night when Shelby was asleep, I would turn the channel to Say Yes to the Dress and watch it until the really feminine guy starting looking like an actual female. During the commercials, I couldn't refrain from jumping up and down - I felt like Rachel McAdams in the movie Time Travelers Wife. The jumping suddenly stopped when Shelbys dad pounded on the door, which made my heart completely stop. As I fell to the ground, my mind suddenly remembered the terrible thing that had happened at the wedding reception earlier that day. I know, I know - "Haley, why are you all about leaving everyone in suspense?" Patience is a virtue, my dear, sweet, precious friend. Take a deep breath...here goes everything I can remember. ;)

Most people get drunk at weddings. Maggie and I?
We run off to the bathroom to take beautiful pictures of ourselves!
A pictures worth a thousand words...

"Hmmm...
I wonder if I could climb that tree in this dress." 

My sister and my bridesmaids finished pinning my veil to my head and fluffing my dress, which led them all to start screeching with excitement. Little did they know, I was a nervous wreck. The air consisted of hairspray and perfume, leaving me "breathless". After they finished putting their shoes on, they quickly exited the room allowing me to have some unwanted alone time. All I could do was worry about everything, which resulted in me walking around, flapping my arms like a chicken so that I wouldn't get sweat stains on my dress. I heard a familiar voice in the distance as I quickly pretended like I had been practicing my "farewell" wave for when my groom and I left for our surprise honeymoon. My sister snuck back in, after getting my bridesmaids to their designated area, just to make sure I was still breathing and to supposedly "check" my lipstick. Then, she took a deep breath and said, "You look absolutely beautiful, Haley. Now, make sure you don't trip because, well...we all know how clumsy you are...plus, I won't have a camera in my bouquet to take a picture of that perfect scene. That would eat me up on the inside until the day that I die if I missed capturing that moment." She finally recognized that my eyebrow was raised and said, "HA - I'm only teasing...but, I do want you to know that I am so happy for you. I know two important people couldn't make it today, but just know that they are here in spirit. Trust me...they wouldn't miss their baby girl getting married for the world." I looked at Alysson as tears swelled up in my eyes and said, "I love you, Alyie-boo. Crap - my mascara!" We started laughing, then she walked to grab something and said, "Haley - don't you dare do it! You can't be a bride with raccoon eyes." After patting under my eyes with a tissue, we both took a deep breath, then she walked out to go make sure the other bridesmaids hadn't started "celebrating" with the groomsmen yet. A spirited lady came in and announced, "The show starts in five minutes!" I gave her two big "thumbs up" symbols so she would skedaddle, then I slowly walked over to the window and looked at the sky. There were two clouds lurking around up there, and all I could see were my parents' faces. I blew them a quick kiss, leaving my spiced wine lipstick color on the windowpane. The same lady came back in dancing while telling me it was time. I looked at her while picking up my dress so I could make it to her without face planting and said, "great choice of words, haha." Before shutting the door on my old life, I took in one last deep breath and looked around, making sure nothing dropped off my body while I was pretending to be a bird. Throughout the beautiful building, I could hear my favorite piano piece, Pachelbel Cannon in D, filling up every empty space around me as I nervously walked to my final destination before the "big show" started. With every step that I took, my heart felt weaker and weaker. As I walked up the mountain of steps, the front doors slowly opened as if I were Rose from the movie Titanic in the scene where she entered the ballroom like she was floating with perfection. My heart suddenly began to do a dance in my chest, just not as graceful as I wanted. It was almost as if it were a stripper trying to jump out of a huge, white cake. I quickly began to shake, blindly trying to find something to grab onto before I really did hit the ground like Alysson was hoping for. Right when my knees felt like jelly, two arms gently linked with mine and lifted me right back onto my feet. As I quickly glanced to each of my sides, I saw my two brothers, smiling and ready to escort me at my time of need. Before we started the long haul to the end of the isle, Tyler looked at me and said, "Haley, you look wonderful. Oh, and just remember - if he hurts you...he's dead. Actually, he's pretty lucky to be alive right now...make sure he remembers that." He started mumbling under his breath the lyrics of "Cleaning this Gun" by Rodney Atkins, then checked his hair in the huge window beside the door we were about to enter. As I started to laugh, Justin quickly chimed in and said words that I will never forget. "Yeah, he's a really lucky guy, Haley. We are all so proud of the person you turned out to be - even mom and dad are more than proud of you. You went out and chased your dreams...now, it's time for you to enjoy life, oh, and to finally sleep at night...seriously." I smiled at him and slowly responded, "Thank you, Justin. Thank you both for being here." I squeezed their arms tighter then continued, "I love you two with all of my heart. But can y'all just do me one, tiny favor?" They both looked at me with an adventurous look, as if I were about to say "lets blow this Popsicle stand!" Instead, I took a breath and said, "please...just don't let me fall." They both looked at me and said in harmony, "never." After I successfully won the battle with my tears, we each took a long breath as the second set of doors were opened. My legs started to tremble when the two ushers opened the door, unveiling something similar to Paris in springtime; there were white peonies and orchids embellishing every pew. Also, white lights were perfectly strung, making everything glisten with joy. I tried to breathe it all in; it was just all too perfect - too amazing and beautiful. The organ suddenly started playing the same song that every girl has dreamt of hearing since their 12th birthday. My heart starts to flutter as Justin and Tyler gently, but forcefully, drag me down the isle. "One step, two step, keep smiling.." was continuously flowing through my head, reminding me of the wedding video I watched a week prior to this day. As I walked down the petal covered isle, all eyes were on me, but I couldn't stop staring at the fella in the penguin suit who was anxiously waiting to take my hand and my heart - thankfully, he hadn't ran off yet. In a matter of seconds, his eyes went from being elated to being completely startled. I began walking slower with each gasp I heard...noticing that everyone wasn't gasping because of the fact that I was a hot mama. I kept asking myself, "what is happening...?" Looking up to find my better half, I found him rushing down the mile-long isle trying to be with me. My two towers of support held on tight as my world started shaking. I looked over at Tyler and said, "Tyler...something's not right."

"Haley!...Haley!? What the crap are you doing? C'mon! They just put the food out, and I am so hungry I could eat a horse," screamed Maggie as she nudged me out of my daydream. "What? Oh...I am not really that hungry anymore...thank you though," was my startled response. She started looking me up and down, then asked me, "Haley...are you trying out anorexia? Trust me - it's not a good look. You haven't eaten since lunch yesterday. It's 5:37 in the freaking afternoon. Don't be stupid!" She grabbed my arm, directing me to the long table of food. After looking around, I put two items on my plate just to calm her down, then I walked back to our table. As we both sat down, the announcer started saying something about the bride and her father. Before I could grasp the words he was speaking, Tim McGraw's voice started filling my ears with "gotta hold on easy as I let you go. Gonna tell you how much I love you, though you think you already know." My eyes quickly found the dance floor where the bride was dancing and laughing with her father. As he spun her around like a princess, my mind started thinking about my dad, and I begin to imagine it was us two dancing our last dance together. Before I could get far into that thought, tears started to swell in my eyes and Maggie nudged me on my arm saying, "Haley...I've been meaning to ask you something. So, um...can I wear a tux to your wedding and dance with you during this particular moment? Tim McGraw, head on my shoulder and everything!" Busting out in laughter, I looked at her and said, "of course, Margo." She grabbed my hand while my eyes crept back to the dance floor where they were finishing out their final dance. "Go on, take on this whole world. But to me you know you'll always be, my little girl". When the song ended, they slowly let go, and her father leaned in and whispered, "I love you, princess." After clapping for them, I couldn't stop smiling, thinking about what Maggie was going to whisper in my ear after our final dance together - she is a handful. ;)

Can you say, Snow Beast?

"And you hold me in your arms

And all that I can see

Is my future in your hands

And all that I can feel

Is how long ever after is

It's all that I can do

To be with you, just to be with you."

Wedding Dress - Matt Nathanson

As a result, the one important thing I got out of that whole wedding weekend is, ALWAYS have your wedding indoors. ;) I hope you all have a wonderful hump day! I just a little dance realizing that there is only TWO MORE DAYS until the weekend. :) - Yeah, the people that I am working with right now are wondering if I drank coffee again today, wshoo. Please remember: be safe, never sorry - life is full of mistakes, so don't ever be sorry for living yours to its fullest. Yes - that means go skydiving right now. :)

Love always,

Haley



"The most courageous act is still to think for yourself...Aloud."
- Coco Chanel

I'm Running With Wolves And I'm On The Prowl

    

Hey there, beach bums!

As some peoples spring breaks are finally beginning, others, like mine, have sadly been over. Let me tell you what...this spring break was quite different compared to the years prior. I didn't go the beach like my skin desperately begged me to do...but I did do something way better - dream. Oh boy...look at you drooling over there with curiosity.  Hold on tight; we will eventually get there.

For the first few days, I slaved away at my house trying to clean it and figure out what all I wanted to keep. If you just pictured me looking like Cinderella, then you have the right idea. If you didn't, I gave you a little help with that image at the end of this paragraph. Anyways, the final date for me to take the last few steps in my house is slowly creeping up, in which a new family will take it over and make it their new home. Before they were going to have the opportunity to do that, I FINALLY had to fully clean out my four closets, which were completely slam-packed with my clothes. I am sure you guys are probably asking yourselves, "Haley - how did you possibly manage to fill FOUR closets with only YOUR clothes?" It's quite simple, really. When my mother and sister ordered me to go through my closet, I would just take a few things out and hide them in my brothers closet. Then, I would use the fact that I had just cleaned out my closet as an excuse for buying new clothes...then vuah-la, I had four closets! I did take the time this go around to look through the clothes before chunking them in a box to be sent to the Christian Service Center. Within my abundance of t-shirts, I uncovered cheerleading shirts from Middle school, which were all a blasted youth size - yes, I even tried to put them on my body. Lets just say that they didn't work. I basically looked like an over-sized child - not cute. But, I still secretly kept a few things because they were precious memories and I really want to make some kind of...I don't know...art thingy out of them! Yes..I am still attending my weekly meetings at Hoarders Anonymous! Besides, my name was plastered on the back of some of these shirts. It was obvious that I had to at least keep those shirts...and then some. ;)Shhh...don't tell anyone.



Actual picture from Saturday - yes, that is seriously my skin color.

The Tuesday when my family left is when the real party started. Okay...it wasn't necessarily a "party", but I was finally able to begin my relaxation process. After wishing them all safe travels and waving them off, I walked into my house, triple locking every door, put on my jammies and face mask, then laid on the couch and read every magazine that I could reach without having to get up. I flipped through the pages, closed the magazine, grabbed another one - it was an endless cycle, until I uncovered my newest Seventeen Magazine with Lily Collins plastered across the front. You may be thinking, "who the crap is she?" Don't worry - that's not the point. After flipping through the magazine, I randomly landed on page 90 and was unable to find the muscle strength in my arms to continue flipping the page - I figured that it was just meant to be. I quickly found out that it was a checklist that was basically supposed to help you figure out why you are still single. Depending on the color of the boxes you checked, there were corresponding paragraphs at the end of the page describing in full detail what the heck was wrong with you. With a smile on my face and a red ink pen, I began to work my magic. Once I finished with the "quiz", I couldn't help but notice all of the red marks - it looked as if someone had been murdered on top of this particular magazine page. I quickly checked my pen to see if it had exploded without me knowing...unfortunately, it hadn't. I began by analyzing all the red check marks that I had made, and suddenly I stopped and noticed one particular answer choice that was marked. It read, "you're convinced that all guys break hearts, lie, cheat, ect." I slowly looked up at my reflection in the window next to my front door (also realizing I still had my cucumber face mask on) and thought to myself, "Have you really already became a bitter old woman? You've been 19 for barely a month!" I even started checking my face for wrinkles and liver spots. At that particular moment, I threw the magazine down and realized it was time for a change in my little ole life. I stood up and walked over to the photo albums placed on my empty bookshelf. Like a little kid with absolutely no arm strength, I slowly slid each of them off the shelf and pushed their heavy covers open, unveiling two young adults standing around beautiful, pink flowers and smiling like they didn't have a problem, or a child, in the world. My eyes started to form a glaze as I continued scanning the other pages with photos. There were some of them hugging on each other as if they didn't care who was watching them, and others of them acting like they were merely teenagers, just recently finding their place in this massive world. I pushed the photo album away from my body, then proceeded to lay on it as if it were a pillow. After closing my eyes, my mind began to drift off to a perfect fairytale world.

This was a perfect, sunny day. The wind was at a slight breeze and the sky was doing that whole "I am going to be pink and exotic" thing. I decided to take a drive down the street with the car windows down, allowing my hair to fully embrace a new "wind-blown" look. The radio was playing the perfect songs, so I decided I needed to turn it up and allow everyone the same enjoyment that I was feeling. My eyes traveled to the side of the road where a guy was power walking down the road with a muscle shirt and basketball shorts on. Liz Phair was practically screaming my name in her song when she sang the lyrics, "walking down the street and I hardly know you...it's just like were meant to be." My first thought was, "please don't tell me that Taylor Lautner is in town and I didn't get the Facebook invite." After glancing at his face, clearly forgetting about the road, I suddenly realized that I knew him. Not thinking twice, I quickly screamed his name from my car window and waved once he discovered where the screeching voice was coming from. Before I could turn left on the next available street, my phone suddenly lit up with his name appearing across the screen. The message read, "Haley...wow, it's been a while since I have seen your face. How have you been?" I involuntarily started to giggle like a middle school girl who had just talked to an older guy for the very first time. Our texting conversation continued until I arrived at my house, a.k.a the Dead Zone. After I took a shower, I started looking at my eye bags in the mirror, then it hit me that I didn't have any tooth paste, or a toothbrush, for that matter. I quickly grabbed my purse and decided to take one of my daily trips to Wal-Mart. Once I arrived and locked my car door, the glare in the window reminded me that I didn't have any sort of makeup on, so I took cover and quickly rushed through the store...only to run into Mr. Wonderful. He was leaning against the electronics counter, like he was a beautiful movie star, with one of his guy friends staring at the row of phones. After looking at me, then looking away, then quickly looking back at me again with a cute grin, he started to walk towards me. I looked left and right then thought seriously about hiding in the Cinderella costume that was hanging over my head. I realized it was too late when I heard a voice say, "I didn't think I would see you here. Aha, well, don't you look adorable." My face was almost as red as the Colgate toothpaste box in my left hand because of that comment. We started discussing our lives until he asked me what my plans were for the evening. Two hours later, we were at my house, relaxing on the couch while discussing things in our life that had happened in the past ten months. He looked at me with his cute smile and said, "you...you are so adorable when you look over your glasses." I paused before saying, "how is that cute? I look like a grandma!" He laughed and then said, "just trust me...it's really cute." After a moment of silence, he scooted closer and pretended as if he was going to kiss me, so I looked down pretending to look all mysterious - boy, was I wrong. Suddenly, I felt his fingers trickle up my sides leading me to squeal like a newborn baby. I quickly found the strength in my arms and began to tickle him back, leading us both into a rolling laughter. After we gathered ourselves, I looked up and saw him just staring at me - no, not like Edward in Twilight, like a guy who saw something more than just an ordinary girl. Once again, I began to giggle like a middle schooler (it's a nerves thing). He quickly changed the conversation and asked me about school and what I was planning on doing with my life. I took a deep breath and said, "well, I wanted to be a Dentist...but, I really don't like biology, but...okay, don't judge me...I love to write! I..I stay up at night just writing. Just writing, writing, writing. Then I will look at the clock and notice it is like 3 a.m. I just...I don't really know what to do!" He stared at me, jaw dropped and drooling, then gathered enough words to finally say, "wow...you are like the dad-gum energizer bunny! Plus...I think that you would be an amazing writer, Haley." My eyes began to swell with tears, so I looked down at my hands pretending to remove a serious hang nail. He then started telling me about his future plans. I was so locked into the conversation that I completely forgot that I had absolutely no makeup on. He saw the time displayed on my phone and realized that his day was going to start in a few hours, so I walked with him out to his vehicle. He looked at me with that same smile and gently grabbed my face - my heart literally dropped. He looked in my eyes and suddenly said, "I have been wanting to do this all night" then softly kissed me on the lips before getting in his truck. As he cranked up his vehicle, he asked "am I going to see you again, Haley?" I smiled and he began to back out after saying, "I can't wait until then." The strangest thing happened as I watched his tail lights got lost in the fog: It hurt to watch him go. I quickly walked inside so the zombies wouldn't get me, then triple-locked every door behind me. After brushing my teeth and doing my nightly dance, I slid between my sheets and held onto one of my pillows so I wouldn't float away.
Suddenly, the sound of a text message brought me back from this perfect world in enough time to realize that my face was plastered to the the photo album page that I had laid down on. All I could think about was how I wish that world was reality. Distraught, I tried to open the text message on my phone. After squinting my eyes, I saw that the text messaged said, "hey sweetheart - I've been thinking about you all day." Everything cleared up really quickly. :) Maybe dreams really do come true.

Pray for her - she had to deal with me every single night during spring break. Lets just say, I didn't sleep much :)

I hope you all have a happy and wonderful weekend. Remember: "A dream is a wish your heart makes when you're fast asleep. In dreams you will lose your heartaches. Whatever you wish for, you keep. Have faith in your dreams, and someday, your rainbow will come smiling through. No matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing, the dream that you wish will come true." I know, good right? I came up with that all by myself...and with the help of Cinderella!

Love always,

Haley

"He's got his mother's eyes,
his father's ambition.
I wonder if he knows how much that I miss him.
I hang on every word you say."
Superman - Taylor Swift